Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KennyP55 0
Wait, you thought ******** your brains out at any point before the 6 hour mark would help you lose weight? Enough to notice? Wow, FYL indeed, because you're an idiot.
hotstuff81 0
Why the **** would you do that, its called going to the gym or eating healthy instead.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
alexgisforme3 0
ewwww lol. that was so ****** stupid.
wingedvictorian 0
looks like a case of manorexia
NoMercy1 0
That's what you get for being one of the five "men" in history to have an eating disorder.
Dynosaur_dollie 38
There is actually quite a few males with eating disorders, and attitudes like your stupid ignorant one towards this issue makes opening up and getting help for such a major health problem even more challenging than it already is. Being male and suffering from such a disorder doesn't make them any less a man, it's still just as dangerous and in need of medical intervention.
B0SSAN0VACHICK 0
Sounds like a Kodak moment to me. Hahaha.
rick_rock 0
"i agree with number 2" Problem is, number 2 didn't agree with the OP...
Tangaman 0
Not even the laxatives agreed with the op ;)
koaoak 0
that is totally your fault you're not going to make an effective change in 6hours
cough 0
laxatives don't work, as mentioned above
lesp 6
lmao @ funny_story!!!!! Arnold is. . . THE TERMIDUCER! "I'll be baaaack!. . . Right after I take this dump!"
happyvalleygirl 0
Laxatives are really horrible for your health, and you're only losing water weight. Not smart.
Cdldriver 0
Hahaha ******* moron did u read the instrutions? guess not.