Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML
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Top comments
KennyP55 0
Wait, you thought ******** your brains out at any point before the 6 hour mark would help you lose weight? Enough to notice? Wow, FYL indeed, because you're an idiot.
hotstuff81 0
Why the **** would you do that, its called going to the gym or eating healthy instead.
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Comments (96)
jaxsk 0
What movies do you even watch? This is just weird... and laxatives really can't make you skinnier on one time use...
ShimmyPizza 0
Laxatives are really bad for you, you know. You'd have to take lots of them for long periods of time to noticeably lose weight, and that's extremely unhealthy. YDI for not reading the box, being too lazy to go to the gym, wanting to lose weight in an unhealthy way and just for being plain stupid.
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Nicely worded, OP. :D but you're a ******* retard. first of all, you shouldn't just take a laxative to lose weight like that. especially thinking it happens immediately. and if you're not careful, you can get seriously dehydrated from taking a laxative like that. YDI.
doctorbob 0
YEA EXACTLY. YDI RETARD.
IreadFMLnaked 0
This FML looks very similar to one I've seen in the moderation section a couple of times last week. Copycat much?
DBJ740 0
Wow. Hope you guys are lesbos because if not, you're a fag.
paperfox_fml 0
Hope you're 8 years old because if not, you're an immature ****.
Mata_Hari 0
One, it says the OP's a MAN. Two, wtf?!
aback 5
Read the directions next time. They specifically warn about upscale restaurants and meeting girlfriends' families.
deaditegirl 0
YDI. Laxatives only make you lose water weight, not any actual weight. All you do is get dehydrated and you'll gain all your "weight loss" back when you drink enough water to fix that. Also, YDI for not reading the directions. ******* idiot.
Snazaza 0
so you went out to dinner knowing nothing happened yet?
firefighter39 0
try workin out. seems to help quite a few people
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Or do it like me and stop eating at Mc Donald's...
lastminuteperm 0
I agree with number 2.