Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML
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Top comments
KennyP55 0
Wait, you thought ******** your brains out at any point before the 6 hour mark would help you lose weight? Enough to notice? Wow, FYL indeed, because you're an idiot.
hotstuff81 0
Why the **** would you do that, its called going to the gym or eating healthy instead.
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Comments (96)
Autumnatic 0
You are a huge, huge idiot. A: laxatives are a very unhealthy way to lose weight! B: laxatives don't work immediately! C: READ THE PACKAGE before taking medication! D: all of the above is common sense! Did you know if you take a whole box of laxatives it will give you common sense in under one minute?! You should try it!
LilaBear 2
1) you honestly thought a laxative would make you lose weight?? You'd have to take it continuously for weeks! 2) you honestly thought ANYTHING happens like it does in movies? 3) anything you ingest takes time to travel through your digestive system... I've known since I was 7 that it takes between 6 and 7 hours for food to go through the digestive system, we learnt it in grade 2. 4) DESPITE all that, you didn't read the package which would have TOLD you most of that? YDI
Cittenscollar 0
First of all, you're bulimic. Seek help. Second of all, if you actually do manage to lose weight from a laxative, the weight is only lost in water. As soon as you start drinking water to cure the massive dehydration you'll have suffered at that point, the weight will pile back on.
granpa_haribo 13
seriously, are you that stupid and shallow?
noaman 0
#9 I just had a vision of Bruce willice crapping his heart out throughout the whole " die hard 5"
Raytestrak 3
As if a good shit is the same as losing weight ... seriously ...
som_fml 0
well that was poor planning. Just because you are technically lighter in weight, doesn't mean you have less fat rolling around. You don't shit fat.
golfmanreddy 0
FIRST COMMENT!!!!
Eaglestrike117 29
Fail.
Kofu 0
I second that failure. Failure has moved. You suck at life.
shadow14231 0
remember laxatives have the power to move you deeply