Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML
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Top comments
KennyP55 0
Wait, you thought ******** your brains out at any point before the 6 hour mark would help you lose weight? Enough to notice? Wow, FYL indeed, because you're an idiot.
hotstuff81 0
Why the **** would you do that, its called going to the gym or eating healthy instead.
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Comments (96)
emilyelle 0
Laxatives don't make you lose weight, just water that your body needs. Nice.
noshitsherlock 0
YOU DESERVE IT for being so STUPID. READ THE INSTRUCTIONS. Durrrrr and FML is annoying when it's not genuine misfortune, and always idiots who bring this shit upon themselves. Gawd, grow a brain (this goes for most of the FMLs)
thelonelylurker 0
The general consensus seems to be that you are stupid. I agree.
fmylifedotcomm 0
gawd, you're right. durrrrr. (and yes, #42, that was sarcasm)
Big_Boner 3
FML isn't about every story being genuine misfortune, hence the "you totally deserved it" option. Also, OP you do totally deserve it for thinking that ******** your ass off was a good idea.
intrepid00 0
Stupidty on such a grand scale.
xoxkarinexox 0
Number 41 shuck the **** up. No one says durrr anymore. You don't have to be suck a jerk. You need to grow a brain first Jackass.
ilikeboys 0
people! give this man a break he was just trying to look his best for meeting his gf's parents
mylittlecrow 0
I hate that this site deletes your posts whenever you imply an FML is fake -_-" Because unless there are people dumb enough to take laxatives to lose weight/6 hours before an important event... this FML is definitely fake.
DankJemo 0
I'd feel bad for you, except this is something that you should have known. Read the directions next time before you take a medication you haven't. If you told a doctor that you did that they very well may slap you for something so stupid.
fxdxhk90 0
Jeez it's called diet and exercise, losing weight with laxatives is stupid because all you are doing is removing water from your body.
formosus 0
Taking laxatives to loose weight is bulimia. Plain and simple. You have a eating disorder. Don't try and loose weight this way. It will ruin your body. Big time.