Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML
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Top comments
RPGod 0
Well, at least you now know that she's a psycho bitch, and you don't have too continue to relationship.
KingOfTheWastes 0
I'm Marshall. Damn right you'll never be as good as me.
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Comments (106)
n3rdzgotskillz 29
Mathers? Are you, by any chance, a white rapper?
n3rdzgotskillz 29
Yes, I definitely copied you; considering I posted mine before you did. ;D
Shuinoshina 0
Yep. Dump that shit with utter quickness.
Person1233 13
Maybe she was talking about the movie " We are Marshall," XP
robv565 0
I'm pretty sure she's referencing the character "Marshall" from How I Met Your Mother
Jethro_fml 0
There's also a Marshall in In Plain Sight. Jet
Candace7 19
Who can blame her though? Marshall is freaking amazing.
flinkpamingo 0
Run hard, run fast!
couny343 1
i properly loled at this one
tigerartist 0
I was wondering the same thing
shabail 0
You found Lilypad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
possesed0ne 0
lol Marshall matthers? win.
TC1_fml 0
STOP! HAMMER TIME!!!