Love: Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to... - FML

By meohmy - 31/03/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 803

You deserved it 6 007

Mother of the year

Broken heart

How could you forget?

Tell us more

By kateannobrien - 11/08/2021 20:01

Today, my birthday was terrible yet again. This year, my boyfriend skipped celebrating with me at all. Last year, he guilt-tripped me about ‘having’ to spend time with me and got me two gift certificates that were unusable due to COVID. These weren’t even my worst birthdays to date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 153

By drano - 02/08/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, I was working as a cashier at my job. A guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said "Oh shit I forgot my wallet!" and walked away. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 874

You deserved it 3 277

By Notfamous - 02/12/2015 22:18 - United States - West Point

Today, my mother found out I published a book. She demanded that I pay her all my royalties as repayment for her raising me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 741

You deserved it 1 513

By supras - 04/12/2013 02:03 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 780

You deserved it 3 120

By fffmmll - 21/03/2011 16:58 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 912

You deserved it 56 147

By Anonymous - 03/05/2011 08:19 - Canada

Today, my psycho stepmother and I got into an argument, and she started to get physical. After calling the police, and a cop showing up at the door, he took her side because she said it was "discipline". I'm a 29 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 130

You deserved it 5 218

By MrLonelyHertz - 24/08/2016 23:41 - United States - Kingman

Today, I sat down for class. The second I sat down, the guy next to me stood up and moved all the way to the other side of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 565

You deserved it 1 277

You're just saying that…

By Akwa - 18/11/2020 14:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother and I got complimented on how we look alike. She's a German blonde and I was adopted from Vietnam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 92

Creeped out

By Really jealous - 26/01/2021 09:31 - India

Spicy

Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea. She called me a jealous bastard who can't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 200

Sexless in Seattle

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 16:00

Spicy

Today, it's become clear I might have married the only man on the planet who doesn't care about sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 917

You deserved it 453

By Justme - 30/06/2016 18:20 - United States - Missoula

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 051

You deserved it 1 464

By mariah_1_11 - 06/03/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 230

You deserved it 41 204

By jacky tu - 16/10/2010 03:06 - United States

Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 038

You deserved it 7 677

By K-9cop - 09/09/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 933

You deserved it 5 080

By lizzie - 27/07/2011 13:30 - United States

Today, I was going to a talent show. On the way there, my car broke down, I lost my keys and managed to slam my hand in a window. I got there and waited in the theater for an hour before a janitor came by and said, "Show is tomorrow, lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 596

You deserved it 9 549

Badass

By Boyufd - 30/08/2021 18:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after 3 years. Why, do you ask? Turns out her dad used to bully my dad in highschool and my dad kicked his ass after all this time and sent him to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 78

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 18:28 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 140

You deserved it 9 507

By needtoscratch - 05/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 875

You deserved it 1 764

By sadface - 18/08/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 737

You deserved it 3 092

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 981

You deserved it 6 090

By demk - 20/08/2009 14:51 - United States

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 742

You deserved it 8 029

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 874

You deserved it 18 714

Ed Gein vibes

By emeraldapostle - 17/05/2019 01:59

Today, both a coworker of mine and my boss agreed that I fit the profile of a serial killer. I don't know what's worse, the fact that they think that low of me, or the fact that this isn't the first time someone's said I remind them of a serial killer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 712

You deserved it 251

By hairless by death - 13/08/2013 16:07 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 199

You deserved it 4 221

Gratitude

By Anonymous - 23/08/2021 19:01 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, it's my 35th birthday. My wife greeted me naked, and with an itemized list of what's off limits. A list of what was on the menu would've been much shorter and might have had better spelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 175

Gifts for the whole family

By don’tletthembite - 04/05/2020 02:00

Today, my trucker husband brought home roses for me, toys for the kids and bedbugs for the whole house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 115

By pain - 01/11/2011 14:52 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 148

You deserved it 39 789

By Anonymous - 26/10/2014 10:35 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 24 660

By honor sucks - 27/11/2011 23:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 005

You deserved it 44 944

By pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 500

You deserved it 29 520

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for AAA. Then, hurrying to pick up my brother, I got a $161 speeding ticket. Twenty minutes later, I got a call from him saying he didn't need a ride anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 602

You deserved it 6 735

By Kayla - 18/12/2011 05:25 - United States

Today, I had to take two buses home from a friend's house. After waiting in the cold for the second bus for 40 minutes, it finally came and I realized that I'd left my wallet on the first bus. It took me 2 hours to walk home and I was locked out because my house key is attached to my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 378

You deserved it 7 729

By colebear - 27/05/2011 08:45 - United States

Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 732

You deserved it 9 151

By anonymous - 12/08/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 679

You deserved it 3 126

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 565

You deserved it 7 748

By froyo - 26/02/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 513

You deserved it 4 372

By Anonymous - 23/09/2014 16:30 - United States - Bremerton

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 069

You deserved it 2 780

By ReayHorse - 28/07/2016 16:02

Spicy

Today, I ran into an old couple everyone has been avoiding in my small town. Four weeks ago, they accidentally posted a picture of their pierced junk on Facebook, and I was one of the unlucky people who saw the actual picture. I can't make eye contact with them anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 216

You deserved it 1 780

By happycow122 - 20/06/2015 20:54 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 045

You deserved it 20 309

By Oli974 - 22/10/2015 13:08 - France - N?ves-parmelan

Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 173

You deserved it 2 754

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Top comments

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:08

And you just stood there and said nothing?

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:11

I would of said nope I am really an Ex.. and told him to get lost.

Comments

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:05

That's rude he should've said a special friend FTF's

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:42

You say he's just a friend... Oh baby you...

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Thursday 31 March 2011 13:10

got what i need...

penguinonastairc 0

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Thursday 31 March 2011 13:23

...incase of an emergency...

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Thursday 31 March 2011 17:34

Wouldn't the boyfriend already have ex's phone number???

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Thursday 31 March 2011 19:58

I love you.

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Thursday 31 March 2011 23:03

Dump him and date his best friend.

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Friday 1 April 2011 1:52

^ win!

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Friday 1 April 2011 2:03

so take his word for it at this time just having a friend cant be no crime cuz you have friends and thats a fact like agnis agatha jermaine and jack

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Friday 1 April 2011 4:04

win to all the people who started singing biz markie. I love you!

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Saturday 2 April 2011 4:02

ok just do tht to 1 of ur ex and c way he does

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:08

And you just stood there and said nothing?

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:15

She took it like the man she is.

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:57

^ yea.. without balls..

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:58

hahahaha

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Thursday 31 March 2011 14:49

Lady Gaga?

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Thursday 31 March 2011 18:49

^ nd you are an idiot.

Uncool_LikeYou 0

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Friday 1 April 2011 1:48

lol @ 97

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Friday 1 April 2011 8:22

haha.. I'm with 97;)

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Tuesday 12 April 2011 6:30

I'd of broke his nose.. what a dick

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Sunday 31 July 2011 4:39

137. That is the most original comeback I have ever read on this site. Congrats, man.

sunnysurfchick 0

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:08

are you sure he actually is your "boyfriend"? maybe its some kind of miscommunication

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:12

In actual fact she is really his cousin but there was a mixup at the extended family reunion. Alcohol was drink, things were said, teeth were counted and it was decided they would be partnered

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Thursday 31 March 2011 13:14

^this.

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Thursday 31 March 2011 13:23

^тнат

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Thursday 31 March 2011 14:31

^those

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Thursday 31 March 2011 14:54

^ these

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Thursday 31 March 2011 15:02

^them

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Thursday 31 March 2011 15:18

^they

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Thursday 31 March 2011 15:25

--> Me

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Thursday 31 March 2011 15:34

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER

RavenRiley007 4

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Thursday 31 March 2011 17:56

lmao @ 7...that's not nice mate! but yes either miscommunication of where you two stand or you need to just do yourself the favor

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Friday 1 April 2011 2:59

he's using you :)

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:11

I would of said nope I am really an Ex.. and told him to get lost.

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Thursday 31 March 2011 14:34

Yep, I would have said the exact same thing.

DesB 7

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Thursday 31 March 2011 15:10

yup

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Thursday 31 March 2011 18:31

yeah, something like "nope, I'm his ex too," then exchange phone numbers as fellow exs

manzanita2121 6

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Thursday 31 March 2011 20:58

yup then op should of asked for the ex phone number. they are Eskimo sisters now.

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Friday 1 April 2011 4:27

lol love it

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Friday 1 April 2011 7:41

definitely agree!

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:11

You should hire a private investigator seems like a tough case to solve.

manzanita2121 6

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Thursday 31 March 2011 20:54

cheaters is the best way to go.

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:12

why didnt you just hold him and kiss him infront of her? thats what my girlfriend always does when she's 'jealous'...

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Thursday 31 March 2011 13:08

dude... make her jealous all the time

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Thursday 31 March 2011 14:56

what happens when you get her really jealous?!

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Thursday 31 March 2011 22:07

^ that's what I was thinking! what DOES happen!?

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:12

What a douche (if it's not a miscommunication). Maybe he "just wants a hug" (and nothing else). Ffff. If my boyfriend did that, I'd be pissed- and he'd know it.

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:15

well refer to him as your "just friend" and hit on other guys......or get drunk and eat away at your misery, filling your sadness with tacos and donuts

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Thursday 31 March 2011 13:13

tacos rule

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Thursday 31 March 2011 13:25

yum hahaha

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Thursday 31 March 2011 14:18

hahahaha!

soldier4life_88 0

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Friday 1 April 2011 5:13

mmmmmmmmnh donuts...!!!

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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:17

Well he should have said girl friend. The only reason he wouldn't is because he must still want her. Now this is my opinion if your his girlfriend then he should say that not my friend. Good luck with him.

DesB 7

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Thursday 31 March 2011 15:12



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Thursday 31 March 2011 12:20

And you didn't dump him yet? I know I would with such a ferocious kick, he'd think he was Miss Daisy from Minneappolis.

Nearly

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 3

Today, my girlfriend called off our plans to get married, all because I didn't “make enough time” while I was busy renovating the house for her parents to come over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 302

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 670