Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML
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Top comments
RPGod 0
Well, at least you now know that she's a psycho bitch, and you don't have too continue to relationship.
KingOfTheWastes 0
I'm Marshall. Damn right you'll never be as good as me.
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Comments (106)
paivarotti 0
YDI for not being as good as Marshall.
NUCLEARnicole 0
Marshall from HIMYM? because he's pretty much perfect, you will never compare.
roflmaonade 2
HAHA this is exactly what i was thinking. himym marshall!
YouandMe123 0
I was thinking the exact same thing
oogyboogy 6
ydi its "Marshall". not "Marshall." the period is at the end and if you really wanted to get technical its 'Marshall' not "Marshall"
gayiskoolwithme 0
The period definately goes inside the parentheses, you shouldn't be commenting on his grammar when you can't even get yours right.
DameGreyWulf 1
Don't you mean quotations? But yes, grammar 101, punctuation goes inside quotations.
starvingxartist 0
In Standard American English, the punctuation mark goes inside the quotation marks..or parentheses for that matter. However, in Standard British English, it goes outside. So, if #27 is British, then they're right and not a dumbfuck. On the other hand if they're American, well..get your facts straight before you try to correct people.
DameGreyWulf 1
Oh? Huh. I never believed punctuation goes inside parenthesis, but I was almost certain it always did for quotations. Well I've got my English ****** up as hell anyway what do I know? On one hand I spell defense with an S and on the other I spell colour with a U lol
starvingxartist 0
Parentheses vary, actually, but commas are often inside them, but quotes do follow that rule. But anyways, don't feel bad, I only know that because I'm a journalism major. And even still my spelling sucks :]
gayiskoolwithme 0
Ah, yes I meant quotations.
paivarotti 0
.
some1hones 0
Who the **** is Marshall
toastygoat 0
You deserve it. Why would you even let her get hammered??
MarileenShadow 0
She doesn't deserve you! Damn, if she erally wanted Marshall so badly, then she should stop being a bitch and go be with him. If he doesn't want her, then she needs to shut it and suck it up!
magicsparrow 0
OP, are you in Raleigh? If so...I know who Marshall is.
dfvervbthbrgvefc 0
#38, you are an idiot. Believe it or not there is probably more than one Marshall in Raleigh.
CalmBlue 0
FYL & DTMFA.
DeathShad0 1
Thanks for another reason to not date.