By antiqued - 20/12/2012 05:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 002
You deserved it 3 078

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Try locking the door.

Your roommates sound like assholes.

Comments

Try locking the door.

Some bathrooms don't have locks

I think its more of the fact that he shouldn't have to deal with this.

Then stick a knife in the door frame. My point was, do something, anything, whatever it takes to get some privacy. His roommate sounds like an asshole and he needs to help himself or it's just gonna keep happening.

19 - You make it sound like he's trying to escape an ax murderer. I don't think OP predicted anything like this would have happened (I highly doubt you would have, either).

I know that anytime you have a roommate, you'd damn well better take precautions whenever you're going to be in a compromising position. Common sense dictates that you always guard your self because nobody else will.

My bathroom door does not have locks on it...perhaps his door does not lock either.

1 some bathrooms are easy to unlock, if someone puts a bobby pin in my lock it'll open

36- Gee, somebody's cynical.

I know some doors don't have/come with locks but often wonder, why people chose not to install them? It's an easy fix to have added privacy. I've even installed a few myself.

Because he probably doesn't own his apartment, and some leases don't allow you to do things like put locks on the doors?

Holy shit guys, we got a regular James Bond in #36. I would think that you wouldn't have to "protect yourself" in your own living space. Especially the restroom. AKA Room of rest.

Your roommates sound like assholes.

#2, ipso facto, their talking sounds like farts?

They are certainly roomies but roomMATES? I certainly don't think so.

You shouldn't wear fur. This is the result. (Sarcasm)

Yeah, if I was OP I'd try to move out.

Go replace his shampoo with Nair

Or perhaps itching powder on their sheets?

Have you smelled Nair lately? You'd have to have anosmia to not be able to smell out that trick.

Steal their phones and replace each of the contacts with a baking ingredient, and clear all text/call history. Fun times!

#16 - When you're in a steamy shower with water pouring down, impairing allyour senses, it really isn't that hard to mistake Nair for shampoo.

When I was 15 I was placed in a home for girls that did not behave. This one girl got mad and poured bleach in my friend's fish tank, so I replaced half her conditioner with Nair. She had a history of making things up and was sent to the psych ward a few times do when she ran around the place screaming her head was on fire, she only got yelled at.

66... I think.. I might be afraid of you..

Go into their phones and set it to autocorrect common words to various genital references

Most people use plastic bags when that sort of thing happens. OP, I question your common sense.

I'm pretty sure that the OP didn't anticipate the roommates throwing flour at him/her

15-yes, but still, when people can't get their arm wet, just to be absolutely sure, they usually wrap it in plastic.

What a hassle-- especially when bathing daily. Sticking your arm out of the bathtub should work just as well. (: but only if you don't have roommates like the OP's.

When I was getting sick, I had to have an IV stay in my arm for a while. That's exactly what the doctor told me to do. I'm not really sure why this comment was thumbed down?

Roommate + unlocked bathroom door = prank. The simplest of equations. He might not have expected flour to be thrown on him but he should've known something was going to happen. It's like that old saying of Grampa's: "If you wave your naked pooter at a horny man, you're gonna get fucked". I loved my Grampa. He always knew just what to say.

I don't know what a pooter is, but that saying sounds really rape-y.

I wanted to find a pun, but these people just raise the flour for shitty friends. I hope you don't have to deal with these people again, at yeast.

Didn't you know it was "World's largest pancake" day? Hopefully they saw you before they got on to the eggs!

MY EYEEESSS!!!

MY ARRRRMMMM!!!!

MY DIGNITYYYY!

Dinkleberg!

#23. I was just about to say that lol

You ought to sue your roommates. You could win a lot of *lowers sunglasses* dough.

But first OP would knead to pay legal fees, right?

#17, no, the lawyer's slice is baked into the settlement. This arrangement causes the amount to rise.

These friends and their half-baked ideas really piss me off, I wish they could be charged with batter-y but these in-breads will probably get away wheat it.

(We're on a Roll, perdix)

All of you batter stop now, or I'm going to turn you into donuts and eat the hole pun crew. But just to make sure you're really done this pun game, your curfews are now also at leaven o'clock. You certainly have the skillet takes to make good puns, but you have mushroom for improvement.

Sorry did that roux-in it? Or is the heat now on?

C-C-Combobreaker!

I like that kind of arragements: 33% of what the person gets. But I don't like suing doctors...you never know who will have ro take care of you in an emergency. ;-)

Dang. What assholes. Oops. Did I say that? Heh, they're casseroles. Anybody is going to want them as roomies cause they're delicious. Such casseroles. *reference to previous FML

How far back is "previous"?! It's been 5 minutes and I'm still searching for that casserole FML.... Oh! There isn't one, is there? You're mean :(

They may be casseroles, but at yeast their intentions were just to spice up OP's life.

There was an FML awhile back ago where the mom called her daughter an asshole in front of family, but then tried to cover it up by saying "You're a casserole, and any guy would just love to have you".