Miscellaneous: Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the...

By twoheadedboy - 06/05/2009 20:46 - Canada

Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 556

You deserved it 5 012

Miscellaneous

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Same thing different taste

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 718

You deserved it 6 054

Ten out of ten performance, no notes

By Jesska - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 718

You deserved it 7 204

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 268

You deserved it 12 011

By vegantreegirl - 04/02/2019 20:00

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 477

You deserved it 322

By antiqued - 20/12/2012 05:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 075

You deserved it 3 091

By B-ran - 05/01/2010 00:29 - France

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 775

You deserved it 21 609

By TheKingDavis - 14/02/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 092

You deserved it 3 186

By Sack - 10/11/2011 11:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 428

You deserved it 6 067

By troublewithbleach - 06/04/2011 01:52 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 517

You deserved it 11 820

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 179

You deserved it 8 949

Kamazar 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:38

I think the story on how you got industrial toilet cleaner in your eyes would make a better FML ;)

mf_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:41

"raging fire party"!!!! i... i think i love you.

Comments

Blimy 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:31

First =]

xXnocturneXx 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:32

what, 3 seconds before i cant believe it. i've never been first in my life. FML second :[

grlwitperlEring 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:34

ouch...

rheg16 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:34

wow, the same thing happened to me today, but wish shampooo

grlwitperlEring 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:34

Ouch... I hit my head a lot so I feel you lol

Blimy 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:35

#2: It's ok, you'll get your chance, this is my first First lol =]

fretforyerlatte 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:38

ouch, dude. that's really beat. FYL. :(

Kamazar 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:38

I think the story on how you got industrial toilet cleaner in your eyes would make a better FML ;)

mf_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:41

"raging fire party"!!!! i... i think i love you.

mf_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:43

"raging fire party"!!!! i... i think i love you.

Keywords

Harassment Awkward Coffee Love Anger issues Mental health Weird Miscellaneous Family Sex Confused My ex Cheating Work Facebook Social Media Babies Parenting Health Relatable Nice Guys Creepypasta LGBTQIA+ Religion Painful Food Transportation Intimacy Politics Death

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Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 594

You deserved it 4 065

Today, I stayed at my mate's house over the weekend, but his mother threw me out, saying I’m was taking advantage of her hospitality. First, it’s her son's house, so it’s not even her hospitality, but also I was helping redecorate the whole house for free, so how was I taking advantage? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 134

You deserved it 1 950

Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 328

You deserved it 2 475

Today, marks 2 weeks since I got Oral Allergy Syndrome, a.k.a. randomly becoming allergic to apples, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, grapes, mangos, carrots, celery, beets, sunflower seeds, fennel, my toothpaste, and more things I just haven't tried yet. I'm vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 844

You deserved it 2 258

Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 865

You deserved it 2 864

Today, my boyfriend gave me serious shit because I couldn't name 10 Pokémon. He said he even considered dumping me. Glad to know he has his priorities straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 529

You deserved it 11 775

Today, Facebook told me I should reconnect with my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 316

You deserved it 7 721

Same thing different taste

Bad start to the day

Ten out of ten performance, no notes

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