Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, my son had a screaming meltdown because I told him to clean his own room and that I refuse to be treated like his personal maid. He’s 16. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML
Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML
Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML
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Top comments
stephanyk2 7
Your son sounds awesome.
luckylea24 7
You didn't give him a sock did you?
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Comments (353)
CaliyCat 1
You raised that boy right:)
mccutie936 6
Don't be a jerk, Lucius
badam_fml 6
You called you son Dobby - that's cruel :-)
catanita 18
You could tell him: no clean room no pocket money.
ClashParody 21
Out of curiosity... did you get 'pocket money' from your 'rents when you turned 18? All I got was a stack of bills.
imahistorylover 4
I saw another version of this but it was a girl that was asked by mom to help with chores she got a pair of pants and said something similar to this
ap20 0
Your son sounds cool o:
TheHolyLama 0
smart kid. freaking out people to the point they are rendered speechless is a nice way to get out of situations adults are usually required to face. or just a kid task... learn from your son :D
1two3four5six 23
there's a Taste pf Awesome joke with a picture of Dobby that says: when i turn 18 and my parents ask me to do something, im gonna say dobby has no master, dobby is a free elf, or something like that
loccsta83 5
Get owned like like malfoys dad.
tem17 0
Dobby's only free when his master gives him clothing. Your son is obviously stupid.
nqyomay 1
I think his parents gave him clothing at some point in his life...