Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, my son had a screaming meltdown because I told him to clean his own room and that I refuse to be treated like his personal maid. He’s 16. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML
Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML
Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML
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Top comments
stephanyk2 7
Your son sounds awesome.
luckylea24 7
You didn't give him a sock did you?
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Comments (353)
Elites1234567890 2
Hahaaha your sons hilarious
alyssa_godby24 0
haha that's funny
Shelta957 13
The weirdest thing just happened to me... As I was reading this FML, I heard Dobby squeal " Dobby has no master!! "Dobby is freeeeeeeee!!" (I was watchin the Chamber of Secrets for old times sake) :(
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Your son is an immature idiot and you should kick him out. He's 18, too old to be obsessed with Harry Potter, and old enough to live on his own. Normally I'd say it's hard for young people to make it on their own these days, but this guy needs a swift kick in the ass with a side dose of reality.
motoxraceman2345 1
Tell him he's free too. To move out if he wants.
dancer4life143 13
That's just awesome. Tell your son I kinda love him.
BabyGirlJr1 11
Wow.... Just wow
badactor009 0
The fact that he has a room in your house speaks volumes. I assume Dobby is sitting on your couch, watching your TV and eating meals Dobby does not pay for. With freedom comes responsibility. Time for Dobby to have a reality check.
nevermoremarni 3
Totally did that to my mom :D
rockerlove2013 6
Hahahahhahaha that's soooo awesome and something I would do ;) love him already