Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, my son had a screaming meltdown because I told him to clean his own room and that I refuse to be treated like his personal maid. He’s 16. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML
Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML
Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML
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Top comments
stephanyk2 7
Your son sounds awesome.
luckylea24 7
You didn't give him a sock did you?
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Comments (353)
PeetasFakeLeg 8
Can I marry your son?
alexlovescandy 3
Bahaahaa I literally just fell off my bed from laughter!!
samicna 4
Well Dobby would be one homeless elf if he acted like that in my house! You didn't spank him as a child did you? Should have!
sundrop1424 0
Your son is my hero
hateevryone 15
You know how they get when they turn 18.
JaneDoexD 8
R.I.P Dobby
moonkid143 2
He got that from a picture off Facebook lol
TacoBelle 8
My daughter, who's sixteen, likes to say the same thing. I always respond that Dobby is a broke elf who doesn't have a job and that I pay Dobby's bills.
kimg0885 23
He must be on the dope
WillxClassic 1
Makes a valid point