Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stretchedthin 20
haha sorry but that is funny and sad though, sorry op. Maybe you should do the same thing to him when he asks for some give him some lotion.
eternal_malaise 10
Tell him you're thinking about finding a new joystick since his doesn't seem to be working anymore.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (196)
Melkboy 7
MEN ARE NOT SEX OBJECTS, YOU SEXIST BITCH. WE ARE PEOPLE TOO!!! Oh, I sound crazy *now*, do I?
Devul143 12
Bananas are AWESOME for that! But yeah, FLY, he deserves no woman!
cryssycakesx3 23
yeah! **** life yours!
MisUnFortunate 31
Oh come on, if a guy went to his girlfriend saying "I'm horny, what are you going to do about it?" and she tossed him a jar of mayonnaise and said "Work it out, I'm playing Candy Crush" he would get 100% YDI votes. Double standards...
Mauskau 36
Maybe try touching your husband, if he doesn't respond to that then I guess you'll have to do it on your own. If the game he was playing can be paused, he has no excuse. If it can't be paused, wait. If you want.
Crickety 6
I've been the wife of a gamer and a gamer myself for four years, but my husband and I both know the other comes first. If he can't realize that, he's obviously not grown up enough to have a girlfriend.
KingreX32 21
sometimes you get to a good part of a game and you wanna see how it ends.
metalhead88 9
God I feel sorry for any man whose with or will be with you, you sound like you'd be controlling bitch and no man deserves that
jc981987 7
I'll help you out ;)
Bigfabthetruth52 22
I personally will never let it get to the point where im turning down pussy to play a damn game.
rustyxjohnson 1
Well the titanfall beta is only until the 19th