Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
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Top comments
stretchedthin 20
haha sorry but that is funny and sad though, sorry op. Maybe you should do the same thing to him when he asks for some give him some lotion.
eternal_malaise 10
Tell him you're thinking about finding a new joystick since his doesn't seem to be working anymore.
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Comments (196)
1947Chevy 17
And so the gamer stereotype continues
kingvssj0 9
At least he loves you enough to pause a game and interact with you.
AnonymousBoyee 6
Well,you interrupted him playing a video game, your lucky your still married
jmfreee 16
Play the game with him for a while then let him know you still want him. He'll be even more appreciative of you and he might even give you a little extra effort when it happens.
Dave_Davington 35
Despite what stereotypes would have you believe, men aren't in fact constantly horny. Much like women, there are times when a man is simply not in the mood to ****. Crazy, I know.
DanielleinDC 34
It's not that; he could have politely said he wasn't in the mood instead of throwing a banana at her. And, OP, there are tons of online shops where you can get yourself a great variety of BOBs (battery-operated boyfriends). They'll do much a better job than fruit and veg.
SeenTheend 9
And this is why there's single girls.
Drian91800 7
What a blown chance
orsombre_fml 11
He is a douche. It is his right to say no, but the banana is quite rude and insulting.
phatdaddy62 23
What, so guys are supposed to be on demand **** automatons??? How many of you "ladies" have turned down your man when you're not in the mood? Oh yeah, all of you!
katties 27
I think you should try to remember: sometimes guys are busy and asking them at that point might not lead to anything good. One more thing: don't ask what HE wants to do about it (unless you know he would like to get some too) - tell him what YOU want to do to him. BUT I do think it really sucks that he responded in that way. He was probably thinking he was being funny and original...