Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
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Top comments
stretchedthin 20
haha sorry but that is funny and sad though, sorry op. Maybe you should do the same thing to him when he asks for some give him some lotion.
eternal_malaise 10
Tell him you're thinking about finding a new joystick since his doesn't seem to be working anymore.
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Comments (196)
syed121417 22
Next time he wants sex, tell him to "work it out"
nitrog100 21
Is it so inconceivable that men don't want to have sex all the time? We get to be complicated too dammit. How would you ladies react if it were a guy complaining about how his wife didn't drop trou the second he said that he wanted to get it on?
Xotoolyxo 16
Next time he's feeling a little frisky, toss him a peanut butter sandwich and tell him to take care of himself
toastedbagel14 3
Man, this is the funniest comment I've read on here!
Akwele 5
thats insanely mean
laketahoelady 4
omg that sounds like my husband, except his line is "good luck with that"
SeahawksnationxD 7
Haha you married one funny guy.
lifesuxxxsc 5
drop that losahhhh
donutcallmethat 16
That is a disrespectful way to turn you down. Some of you posters do not understand that respect is everything in marriage. This FML has little to do with libido and everything to do with disrespect.
acid_rain_alien 1
FTW!!!
Razell 13
50 internet brownies says that 6 months from now, he complains that she never initiates sexy-times.