Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
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Top comments
stretchedthin 20
haha sorry but that is funny and sad though, sorry op. Maybe you should do the same thing to him when he asks for some give him some lotion.
eternal_malaise 10
Tell him you're thinking about finding a new joystick since his doesn't seem to be working anymore.
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Comments (196)
Q94 5
Oh hell no!! I'm a dude, but he gets NO more cut!!!
reaxion 25
If my woman is frisky and makes me aware of that fact, it's time to get the face in the taco and provide some good sausage stuffing... It is always more fun when she's horny. Stuff games when that's on offer!
homesuckfucker 28
I don't recommend trying to get off with a banana. especially not if you peel it first. but, as many others are saying, seek revenge on him. the next time he wants to frick frack, you're going out shopping. or busy with your hair.
KittenSandwich 9
So many things wrong with #12's comment. What happened to equality in marriage? I would honestly hate to be stuck with someone like you even in a last resort I'd say no...
katperrin 6
Time to cut him off from any sexual things for awhile...
cryssycakesx3 23
that doesn't do her any good either
Crofty92 17
Yeah because acting like a childish little **** because he didn't do what she wanted on the click of her fingers seems like a great idea in a relationship.
Le_Doctor 10
Now you know how It feels...
cryssycakesx3 23
"a woman should do her wifely duties and stay in the kitchen."
Witchylady 18
What a dick! Next time he wants to have sex toss him a donut and tell him to screw that
ninjaman520 1
Maybe if you weren't so unap"peel"ing you'd be good lmfao
cryssycakesx3 23
lol #78 I thought the same thing. poor guy. 'least he got her a mask.