Love: Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed...

By firehurts - 08/06/2015 23:38 - United States - Wallkill

Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 286

You deserved it 2 727

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/12/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 677

You deserved it 2 722

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 613

You deserved it 4 699

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 3 686

Great idea

By UnluckyLatina - 22/04/2016 03:30 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 664

You deserved it 12 255

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 537

You deserved it 14 903

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 91

By nickorion12 - 28/06/2016 14:21 - United States - Shawnee

Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 611

You deserved it 1 297

By sadinmass - 13/11/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 574

You deserved it 5 767

By Happy 20th! - 28/07/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 788

You deserved it 4 597

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 16:32 - Senegal

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 689

You deserved it 11 751

keiNan_fml 35

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:47

This girl is on fire.

kingdutchhy 19

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:54

I guess you could say that your birthday celebrations went up in flames.

Comments

Batkid217 14

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:08

that sounds like one fiery birthday !

nana_star 27

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:21

At least you can say that you looked smoking hot on your birthday. Happy birthday!

pyrexicpoet 18

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:23

Hopefully it didn't go up to your crotch or else your nickname would be fire crotch the rest of your life

leogachi 15

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:56

Making fun of someone for being set on fire isn't cool.

laden_swallow09 34

Tuesday 9 June 2015 22:58

No duh, it's not cool. It's the very antithesis of cool. It's sssssssmokin'!

sturschaedel 27

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:27

Your boyfriend made you all hot and bothered! Sorry your birthday ended with you hurt though.

FrostyNipz19 12

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:28

Well now your the hottest person at the party

chuka81 27

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:37

You know what they say, if you're burned on your birthday, you'd become a dragon. Happy Birthday Mother of Dragons.

Zarcissa 34

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:47

Be happy that your hair wasnt burned. Still must've hurt. I hope my bday doesnt end like yours, which is today (06/09)

dilara_xo 12

Tuesday 9 June 2015 12:56

happy b'day!

ColonelCusswords 24

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:53

Thats one hot birthday right there wish i coulda been there

SkullsRules1 26

Tuesday 9 June 2015 12:15

I'm going to a bonfire on Saturday... thanks for the danger warnings

immunetoinsanity 23

Tuesday 9 June 2015 12:30

I would dump his dumb ass... No telling what could happen in the future if he was this careless around you now.

leogachi 15

Tuesday 9 June 2015 14:17

He could have been drunk. Drunk people tend to be careless anyway.

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Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 652

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said, "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 704

You deserved it 16 738

The Top

Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 003

You deserved it 7 542

Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 624

Today, I went to a political debate, and now I'm more confused than when I arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 246

Today, I had a piano exam, for which I'd worked hard. I went in, and the examiner asked me to play some scales. I was so nervous, I played 3 octaves and then realised I'd ran out of space. I might have then said, "FUCK!" really loudly… and she heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 378

Today, I was taken to my first session with my psychiatrist. The entirety of the facility, from the waiting room to the doc's office was decorated with dead butterflies in glass. I was there for my crippling mottephobia, the irrational fear of moths and butterflies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 843

You deserved it 4 562

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 859

You deserved it 1 190

Same thing different taste

Great idea

Smash

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