Kids: Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast... - FML

By nickorion12 - 28/06/2016 14:21 - United States - Shawnee

Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 621

You deserved it 1 302

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Same thing different taste

Cute but messy

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 00:00

Today, my kids made a mess in the kitchen while trying to make breakfast in bed for me. The mess was bigger than the breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 213

Make it stop

By Elephant1718 - 12/06/2013 01:16 - United States - The Dalles

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 890

You deserved it 3 070

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I got up early to make a surprise breakfast in bed for my partner. As I was carrying the tray into the bedroom, I tripped and spilled the hot coffee all over them. We ended up in the emergency room so they could take a look at the burns I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 203

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 037

You deserved it 601

Cooked

By Un1ucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 292

You deserved it 7 527

That blows

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 23:30

Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 205

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 572

You deserved it 3 420

Food for thought

By Heather Scurfield - 17/09/2021 01:00 - United Kingdom - Witney

Today, it's my birthday. Since I knew I would be spending it alone, I treated myself to a full cooked Scottish Breakfast. Just as I was plating up, I got carried away and my black pudding slipped out of my tongs and directly into my cat's litter tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 225

Happy nothing, then

By amy - 30/06/2018 19:00

Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 635

You deserved it 364

By ahhhhhh - 12/02/2015 17:23 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 638

You deserved it 6 501

Next

Top comments

Nathan_Henry 15

Wednesday 29 June 2016 2:16

It's the thought that counts

Tripartita 44

Wednesday 29 June 2016 2:37

Really, there's no better way to celebrate life than to have it jeopardized in a house fire. If this caused your life to flash before your eyes, just think of it as a commemorative slideshow on your special day!

Comments

Nathan_Henry 15

Wednesday 29 June 2016 2:16

It's the thought that counts

teentee401 36

Wednesday 29 June 2016 3:55

Who pissed in your cereal, #7?

mystam4 17

Wednesday 29 June 2016 5:22

yes, & the insurance lol

moodyreallyrocks 27

Wednesday 29 June 2016 2:22

Wow appreciate the effort though..

CFL13 12

Wednesday 29 June 2016 2:33

That sucks

TheGamerXYZ 19

Wednesday 29 June 2016 2:34

I guess this birthday is lit

Tripartita 44

Wednesday 29 June 2016 2:37

Really, there's no better way to celebrate life than to have it jeopardized in a house fire. If this caused your life to flash before your eyes, just think of it as a commemorative slideshow on your special day!

holly_fly 34

Wednesday 29 June 2016 3:07

And with this comment, you are one of the greats, at least in my book. XD

anlong93 9

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:42

#Tripartita2016

bradleybaldwin 9

Wednesday 29 June 2016 2:53

Even though it is the thought that counts, what an unfortunate Mother's Day. Fyl

CheeseClown 1

Friday 30 December 2016 22:52

*birthday*

TweetAnne 13

Wednesday 29 June 2016 3:10

Happy birthday to your mom. It's my mothers birthday today as well and I made a full dinner without burning the house down.

may14th 26

Wednesday 29 June 2016 3:17

Try blowing that out and making a wish!

SasukeKun 16

Wednesday 29 June 2016 3:36

At least they tried.

Dreamer_in_Time 22

Wednesday 29 June 2016 3:41

That's sweet of them, but I'm sure that having a house-sized bonfire isn't your present of choice!

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family Cats DIY Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 490

You deserved it 3 816

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 424

The Top

Today, after working at the same place for 3 years, I found out that they are not only cutting my hours but now I have to take orders from some girl I trained because she was promoted over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 507

You deserved it 2 689

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 012

You deserved it 1 922

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 519

You deserved it 37 207

Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 250

You deserved it 2 379

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 818

You deserved it 4 672

Today, I found out that my fiancée wishes she'd never said yes when I proposed, as she is in love with another man, and has been hiding their relationship for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 897

You deserved it 143