Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
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Top comments
keiNan_fml 35
This girl is on fire.
kingdutchhy 19
I guess you could say that your birthday celebrations went up in flames.
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Comments (40)
zenrael 21
It's his special way of asking you to shave your legs more often. Hope you didn't get burnt too badly!
Solano2580 24
I feel bad for you OP, I'm not gonna say to dump him, I hope he's smarter than he sounds otherwise this won't be the end of it
PrestonWolf 13
ιт ѕoυndѕ lιĸe нe нad one тo мany aм ι rιgнт or aм ι rιgнт?
Cringey 18
Who would ever think throwing alcohol into a fire is smart?
putitinpark 7
That's why you don't throw fires. Catching them can be very painful.
AnirudhR 16
Was Sex On Fire playing in the background?
Austanious 8
I hate it when a perfectly good birthday party gets snuffed out
jmaine1 4
thats what you get for drinking alcohol. lol. ydi
imatotalloser 20
Who the **** throws a bonfire in the summer
Sam Fisher 13
Seems like something my gf would do...while completely sober