By themouseman1212 - 10/03/2013 16:13 - United States

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML
I agree, your life sucks 62 667
You deserved it 7 498

themouseman1212 tells us more.

I'm trying to. It's been a long time. But I'm still hopeful. Just trying to be the best husband and father I can be. Thanks for the support.

Top comments


courtney680 17

He should probably talk to her and ask why she doesn't want him to see her naked. And just because he doesn't see her nipples, doesn't mean they aren't having sex. Just saying..

MrBrightside21 20

Shocking fact for most men: The first female nipple you have ever seen was your mother's. Shocking fact for me: The only nipple I have ever seen was my mother's.

TheElBurrrito 21

49 I believe he means in real life and not through a computer screen.

27--your only 16 you have plenty of time to see nipples. I didn't see a penis til I was 19!

96 wow, I was 27 when I first saw a guys penis!

At one point you were gushing out of a penis. Just saying.

Seeing nipples is an essential part of most heterosexual encounter. Unless of course they're removed.

I'd say sad... shocking just isn't the right word..

"Seeing nipples is an essential part of a heterosexual encounter".. who are you??? Sheldon Cooper!!!

Can't delete the comment. Didn't see you were talking to someone else.

wlddog 14

That usually means its time for the handcuffs, babs, and riding crop to come out. I blame OP for not dropping his balls and going after her.

Because there is nothing that stats good times like going to jail for marital rape.

Seriously how have you not watched ****??

kultyre 7

You should ask your wife for some children.

Then he can watch them breast feed and not have to go to the natural food market

I don't think looking at kids nipples count, perv.

I don't believe that bringing children into a marriage which clearly has some issues would be in anyone's best interest.

RpiesSPIES 27

I hope you see the irony of the situation.

RpiesSPIES 27

Breast feeding in the Natural Foods market, of course.

R4inb0wBrit3 13

So irony is just a funny juxtaposition of events now. Huh. I thought it was when the reverse of what was expected in a situation happened. I wasn't NOT expecting it to be there... So I guess breast feeding in a farm is Irony Level: OVER 9000! And I guess that breastfeeding your child so that he grows up healthier but instead, your breastmilk is toxic and causes health problems, THAT'S totally not irony.

Pleo, to simplify the discussion...yes.

RpiesSPIES 27

After going through my thoughts on the situation and re-evaluating the meaning of what I thought something was, as in believing two moments such as this not needing to contradict the other (which it seems it does), my comment has fallen into dismay. It's not irony but just purely coincidental. While I'm glad that my understanding of Irony has been cleared up, I'm sad that my prior comments have taken a turn for the worst.

Well at least you're admitting all this and taking it all very sensibly too. No raging or claims of sarcasm, just honesty. It's actually nice for a change.

Dude you kill me! Keep up the awesome comments, they're funny as ****!

Irony and a coincedence are mixed up a lot nowadays. my younger cousins (around 10 and 12 years old) kept saying "that's ironic!" for everything. when i explained what the true definition for irony was, they came up with their own scenario: a burglar enters a house and the house's guard dog attacks the house's master. i dont know what runs through their minds o.O

Wow. Before looking at the thumbs on these comments, I had no idea how many people don't understand irony.

Wouldn't #4's comment count as situational irony?

kristabelli 19

Ok... "Natural Food" + breast milk, arguably one of the most natural foods on the planet... I say that's a decent example of irony. Not great maybe, but it's still mild irony. You wouldn't necessarily expect to see that.

kristabelli 19

I'm slightly disappointed that you didn't stand up for yourself, #4.

76: Still just a coincidence. Yes, it's unexpected, but coincidences are also unexpected, which make them ... coincidental! :D Everyone's happy.

#4 and #15 only count as irony if the breasts were demonstrably *unnatural*. A baby breastfeeding from a woman with fake **** inside of a natural foods store--that's irony.

76: That's the opposite of irony; it's appropriate (albeit in an amusing way). Irony is when something is contrary to the situation in an amusing way. For example, a deer hunting with a rifle is ironic. A fuel truck running out of gas is ironic. An unsinkable ship sinking on its maiden voyage is ironic. A penguin relaxing on a warm, sandy beach is ironic. Steve Jobs with an Android phone is ironic. Hope this helps.

One of my favorite examples of irony is a fire truck on fire.

A traffic jam when you're already late A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife It's meeting the man of my dreams And then meeting his beautiful wife And isn't it ironic...don't you think A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

RpiesSPIES 27

#77 Why would I argue in this situation? It would only make me look like an ignoramus, especially after Pleo gave a well-reasoned argument alongide my own clarification methods. I was wrong and I acknowledge that. P.S., 89, if I knew what classified a poem, I'd say you did a nice job at one :P

hooligyn123 18

#87 was quoting a song by Alanis Morisette. Ah thank you 90's with a song devoted to explaining irony. Sadly my high school classmates still didn't get irony even with that song being pumped into every where and every station ever. Kinda... Ironic.

But those things aren't even ironic. They're just unfortunate coincidences.

106: Just like #115 said, the most ironic part of that song was that most of the examples in it aren't ironic. Just because Alanis Morisette says something is ironic doesn't make it true. A hit song about irony that misunderstands the meaning of irony--that's ironic.

hooligyn123 18

Touché good sir, Touché. I will avoid commenting on 2 hrs sleep. You are correct they are more unfortunate coincidences. That'll teach me to be witty and sleep deprived lol

Talk it out with your wife. Divorce is not an option. Especially not over something that can be fixed

RedPillSucks 31

Was probably trying to head off the cries to "divorce her"

No, that's bs. He's been married for ten years and hasn't seen his wife naked in two, that's messed up, and I would run, run as far and as fast as your little legs will carry you, because its only going to get worse...

I'm trying to. It's been a long time. But I'm still hopeful. Just trying to be the best husband and father I can be. Thanks for the support.

dragoongirl90 34

I agree. No one should have to put up with that. Sex and physical intimacy is an important requirement of marriage.

Marriage and celibacy not so different.

Bullshit! My husband and I are still at it like bloody rabbits after 24 years! Lol.

After 24 yrs of marriage?? Like rabbits?? Hold off on the Viagra.

Three kids. Oldest 19... No Viagra needed here. ;)

Man how did your wife lose her nipples?

Jacksparrow72 21
Imhere4fml 24

Well, he went to ruff on them and I'm also assuming that's why she doesn't want to do anything now.

Tigerblossom 19

Ugh, 62. That comment made me wince. >.<

redrose_rocker 12

And the can opener comment didn't?! Haha

aussieaccents 7

She burned them while leaning over a boiling pot on the stove.

You guys really need to talk, that is a serious problem.

And what? Make her flash her nipples twice a week?

kishorekumar_a 10

Can someone explain 73's comment to me? I don't get this one. Sorry

#124 - it's a reference to a former FML where the OP ended up having sex with a technician after he asked her for a glass of water

CantusVulpis 12

Um... Two years and you haven't fixed this problem? Come on man, talk to your wife, get marriage counseling or something because that can't be a healthy relationship.

I will soon. It's been a matter of finances. Marriage counseling isn't covered on insurance and we haven't had the funds to consider it. But that's getting better and I see that as a possibility in the near future. If she will agree to it. I know I can go on my own and will if I have to. We'll see.

@143 I'm actually rather impressed than you want to work this out instead of just getting a divorce or cheating. You obviously love your wife dearly if you want to fix this so badly. I hope you and your wife can get counseling and find a solution to this problem. It's possible your wife has underlying issues that cause her not to want to have sex that one or both of you aren't aware of (like depression, a sudden lack of a desire for sex or pleasure from sex, pain during sex etc.) I'm guessing other than a lack of sex that you and your wife are generally satisfied with your marriage. I wish you both well. :)

Maybe its time to buy some flowers and chocolates for your wife in an attempt to get her in the mood.