I hope your son can hear me applauding.

And you didn't consider trading one password for the other because...?

I could be wrong because of how the FML is worded. But it sounds like the new internet password they thought they had wasn't the password due to the son changing it months ago, so they couldn't trade a password for a password due to them not actually having the one they thought they had in the first place.

And it never occurred to simply hard-reset the router and reconfigure the wifi because...?

So your kid runs the roost in your house??

I hear it all the time at the cable company. The kids rule the roost. They decide the channels and if something happens (plan change, channel migration, outages, bill wasn't paid) the kids raise hell.

And I've been in the phone with a kid screaming like a possessed banshee because the parents can't get Paw Patrol to work.

If my kid tried that with me, a quick call to the cable company cutting off the internet would occur, and also a deactivation of the cell phone as well.

People say that but we all know they want the Internet for themselves aswell so that’s a shitty plan.

My mom used to threaten that but never did

I’ve done it. My oldest called the bluff and I called. Had it temporarily disabled and canned his cell line since it was on my plan. When I turned the cable back on, the modem and router was relocated to my bedroom which is locked.

Did you also clean his room?

You didn't beat him why?

I work for a cable company. I can walk you through fixing that. And putting a toothpick in the pinhole reset in the back of the router for 10 seconds is cheaper!

You can also pause his internet connection, but again, all he needs is a toothpick!

What you need is a locked hard acrylic box to put your router in, with holes cut out for the power and the WAN (if it's not an all in one unit) and the antennas on the router, and make sure there is no way to access the reset pinhole! If you use the LAN ports make sure it's not an Ethernet port near the reset.
....and he needs a big paper clip.

Either that or you need a lockable cabinet for the router to live in, but if it's in a cabinet that kills some of your WiFi.

I got it! A belt. You need a belt!

Or putting it in a locked room

Yeah well some of us are too broke to leave a whole room in the house always locked

I work for a cable provider, not a house planning committee to build lockable offices or closets in houses. All I am trained in is suggestions.
And I know the router is basically "toothpick war" to reset it, change the settings, until the other guy's toothpick is used. The only way to win this is to lock the router in an inaccessible place with a password on its own login so admin/password won't work remotely, and if needed tell the cable company not to reset any passwords over the phone.

I also think if you can't pay for a babysitter either don't have children because they are too expensive to care for, or don't bring them to events/dinners out. Eat home or carry out on the nights you can't get a sitter or till they can behave.
I can't exactly tell every mom and dad with a screaming brat how to run their life. And the moms with screamers usually are trying to help calm the kids anyway!

Now you change it, lock up the router and tell him it'll be 100 and cleaning his room.