Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML
Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML
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Top comments
lol_ironic_life 9
You being man enough to stand up for your country does not make you a pussy. :) Thank you for wanting to serve and protect us!
EddiE_CN 8
Don't visit him when you are on leave
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Comments (216)
thejedi08 10
doesnt he know that the military turns ******* into assholes and dicks?
mbot20 0
Your dad is an asshole... No wonder you rather leave the to the army than stay home...:/ sorry
djjaxon2001 4
Wow nice dad u hav there. Just sayin
msboy123 0
Challenge accepted.
newburton13 26
And in your will, because in the military death is a strong possibility, make it so he doesn't get shit.
AliceInMe 4
Though I don't agree with what our country chooses to fight for, the fact that you even considered joining in the first place makes you, well not a pussy at all.
grayeyedmarine 14
The army would take a pussy its all they're made of. The Marines would laugh you out the recruiting office
BeepBeepSwerve 9
and you know that how gold digger?
BeepBeepSwerve 9
annnnd how do you know that? lol you're not even fit for p.e class anyways lawlz
SuicidalShooter 7
hey sounds like my asshole of a dad
doglover100 29
Your dad sucks. Thank you for wanting to serve our country.
rougeunicorn03 17
Join the army. Prove him wrong.