Love: Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my...

By fecal romance - 23/11/2013 10:32 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 697

You deserved it 5 954

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Same thing different taste

Ex-Lax Time

By savagepixie - 01/06/2019 14:09

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, and he thought it would be funny to steal my ring and "pretend" to swallow it. I tried to get it back, but unfortunately I "surprised" him. He reckons I'll get it back some time tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 01:23 - Japan

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 458

You deserved it 4 063

By lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 926

You deserved it 31 031

By summerbabe77 - 22/07/2012 03:58 - United States - Medford

Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 961

You deserved it 2 963

By 50sStyle - 12/06/2017 19:00 - United States - Hartland

Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 578

You deserved it 409

Panic on the streets of Sydney

By MyPrecious... - 11/03/2015 00:33 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 853

You deserved it 28 780

By LizGo - 17/11/2013 06:00 - United States - Greenville

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 424

You deserved it 14 695

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 083

You deserved it 40 018

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 21/12/2020 14:01

Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 1 109

By BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 307

brackaman 18

Saturday 23 November 2013 16:00

Hey, it's what's inside that counts.

Adeptasaurus 12

Saturday 23 November 2013 16:00

I swear, if someone says it...

Comments

kinginsun 1

Saturday 23 November 2013 17:18

Don't worry too much! Those things will come out at last.

Mynamewontfi 40

Saturday 23 November 2013 17:20

Never understood why people would put a ring in food or drinks to propose. Doesn't seem that romantic to me. Lets hope you find it soon.

thenewgirl29 20

Sunday 24 November 2013 20:29

I like your profile pic. Tom Waits?

DragonDude 24

Saturday 23 November 2013 17:29

Never seen the show, but let's put this on 1000 Ways to Die.

eternal_malaise 10

Saturday 23 November 2013 18:05

Sue the ring manufacturer. They should have a label warning not to do that. :D

Ziggy122 15

Saturday 23 November 2013 18:08

Well, that was a sweet gesture from your boyfriend, even if it was a dumb idea...

lalaney 14

Saturday 23 November 2013 18:26

You'd have to have been chugging that wine for that to happen. You're supposed to sip wine.

olpally 32

Saturday 23 November 2013 18:26

Make him buy a new one since this one is definitely going down the toilet. I wouldn't even think of trying to retrieve the ring.

8born8 18

Sunday 24 November 2013 15:13

Clearly you've never been around a person who ingested something they shouldn't have, e.g. kids. Any dr will tell you, the stool needs to be examined/searched to be sure the object was passed and is not going to cause a bowel obstruction or anything serious like that. It's more for safety and peace of mind, rather than wanting to retrieve the object.

mattorama 15

Saturday 23 November 2013 18:27

I would put the deuce in a bag that contains it, give it to him and tell him no, simply based on using such an idiotic, cliche , and outright dangerous method of proposing.