Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, and he thought it would be funny to steal my ring and "pretend" to swallow it. I tried to get it back, but unfortunately I "surprised" him. He reckons I'll get it back some time tomorrow. FML
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML
Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML
Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
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Top comments
brackaman 18
Hey, it's what's inside that counts.
Adeptasaurus 12
I swear, if someone says it...
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Comments (154)
Omniprism 15
You're gonna have to get your poop and go through it. That sucks. But congrats on the engagement?
Km1490 20
Well.. congrats on the engament!
JMichael 26
That's one way of putting it
creepyclowntown 10
unless you put it in a milkshake I am pretty sure I can tell my last sip has a chunk of something floating in my mouth
Curlytwirly22 17
All I can say is good luck and I hope you have a lifetime of happiness after you get the ring out of you
frozen92_fml 12
For OP's sake I hope the stone was small.
Dark_Stream 29
If your feeling nasty, let him search through your poop to find it. And make him wait for your answer until he finds it. You should probably get him to take it for a professional cleaning, too.
8born8 18
Congratulations on your (almost) engagement op. I think your bf made a lovely gesture and was trying to be romantic. Perhaps all the pros and cons weren't thought through fully in his anxious excitement to pop the question. At least you have the chance of getting it back, drinking a teaspoon of olive oil should help to stimulate your bowels to get things moving along quicker... Stay positive there's a light at the end of the tunnel. good luck op, I hope ur wedding is wonderful and you have many happy years with your (to be?) husband.
spritnerd 5
haha
atay94 2
lmao at least your worth a lot now