Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, and he thought it would be funny to steal my ring and "pretend" to swallow it. I tried to get it back, but unfortunately I "surprised" him. He reckons I'll get it back some time tomorrow. FML
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML
Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML
Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
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Top comments
brackaman 18
Hey, it's what's inside that counts.
Adeptasaurus 12
I swear, if someone says it...
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Comments (154)
purebliss_fml 19
Ooooh, good luck for when that comes out... Hopefully you and your boyfriend will engage in conversation about how nearly killing you is not a romantic gesture.
WellThatSucked89 13
I see what you did there...
WellThatSucked89 13
Really guys? Sigh, she said engage... I assume I shall escort myself out...
jensen21 19
On the bright side, he proposed.
zomgbies 17
You're supposed to sip wine. Not chug it. YDI.
tiarnatargaryen 23
She might have been nervous because she had an inkling of what was going on and therefore drank it fast. Or it could have been red wine. You never know.
glitterkuro 18
I don't understand why people think it's a good idea to propose by hiding the ring, especially in something you're eating or drinking. Especially in a drink, where you're even less likely to see it and it can so easily be gulped and swallowed. If you want to do a romantic proposal (and your partner would respond well to it obviously) then that's fine, but these techniques are just asking for trouble!
8born8 18
sometimes people have trouble thinking up original/unique ways to propose, Ops' partner decided to go with a classic/tried and true method. It may seem to be a less than ideal outcome at the moment, but in time it'll become an anecdote that they'll laugh about together for years to come.
Girlie7 11
I really pity you....and also your boyfriend...he must've spent a lot on the ring for it to end up in shit
perdix 31
I've heard that mining for diamonds is a shitty job -- but this is ridiculous!
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
Hopefully it's not a bloody diamond...I mean blood diamond
MrBoredomioo 18
That's a shitty situation
AdamTB 26
You just HAD to say it, didn't you?
upallnight11 19
He could've seen it coming
8born8 18
it does have a certain ring to it, don't you think?
upallnight11 19
How romantic, he's a keeper for sure
8born8 18
I think the bf deserves an A for effort. At least he tried to be romantic, some people don't even put any effort into such a momentous occasion.
Zarcissa 34
Choking on an engament ring is a pretty romantic way of dying I guess... Good luck finding the ring, though!
Zarcissa 34
Engagement* Why did I notice my typo only now ._. Shame on me.
andfyourstoo 15
What goes in must come out!
jerry2011 4
Don't say yes until it comes out.