Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML
Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML
Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML
Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML
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Top comments
lolipop1234_fml 7
Well thank you 16 for replying instead of just pressing thumbs down.
TheRealBrianGrif 7
Was it a story about meg?
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Comments (146)
ZooMzy 9
Seems like a reasonable trade off
perdix 31
Read H. P. Lovecraft stories on the toilet. Peeing problem solved. (Hemorrhoid problem started.)
br0ccoli 15
Hahahaha I like the way you think. I love efficiency. Get your prep h handy, kids.
br0ccoli 15
Don't research too much, or knowing will be your downfall and you'll go crazy. Sounds like the theme from the Village or a cult. Hm. Wear diapers tonight! Lol jk. Seriously, guy, they're just stories. Unless,... he knows something we don't. In that case, we're all ******, totally ******. I wouldn't be surprised if he was visited by the beings that he wrote about.
MsMeiriona 2
Well, there are those... But that is purely fiction.
chels1994 11
But hey, now you can be considered a primary source (:
kuges 0
Hi
chels1994 11
Heyy lol
br0ccoli 15
He'd be mad at you for spelling his name wrong.
kerr888 0
You didn't pee easily before?
wiredream 0
read Stephen King bro you won't sleep for some time, but after 5 or 10 books, you're bulletproof
kerr888 0
Very true...
bunniex1 11
I read stephen king all the time, their not scary just creepy u guys are sissys if u have trouble falling asleep to Stephen king
MsMeiriona 2
Lovecraft was a world class jerk who hated just about everyone and everything. It's actually really interesting looking at his writing and thinking about the kind of mind that created it.
strawberryspacejam 11
the thing that should not be......hp lovecraft is a scary sumbitch
eyecon502 13
That's pretty f'd up. But, I can say that I have heard similar and worse stories!