Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML
Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML
Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML
Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML
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Top comments
lolipop1234_fml 7
Well thank you 16 for replying instead of just pressing thumbs down.
TheRealBrianGrif 7
Was it a story about meg?
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Comments (146)
sabb1228 0
So did you read about the necronomicon?
someguy314159265 15
I'm so tempted to start reading Lovecraft now...
Mohawkachu 2
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
fromoverthere 7
Read H. P. Lovecraft, Scared of rats for life
est000dog 11
H. P. Lovecraft = Amnesia *He had amnesia *game Amnesia is based on he's work
KafkasKatfish 2
Ha, I did an english literature dissertation on why Lovecraft is as scary as he is. Many sympathies to you, sir.
touchesthelight 8
Seriously? You got scared by reading H.P. Lovecraft's writing? That's kinda pathetic... Read some Stephen King and especially Clive Barker. I loved the "Books of Blood" Trilogy by Clive Barker. If OP can read those and not pee his pants, I'll have more respect for him...
LAMKWHIM 11
I love 19th century horror but I've never tried 20th century. You've inspired me to try it now!!
TheMystery13 13
What can I say? STRAP 'EM ON, YOU PUSSY.
dyslexic_jd 10
Having just read it, I understand your pain