Miscellaneous: Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really... - FML

By Hot Pants - 01/12/2011 17:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 363

You deserved it 5 787

Mama's boy

"Life is unfair…"

Squatters' rights

Bass, how low can you go?

By Anonymous - 06/10/2020 02:02

Today, I tried to study for my upcoming engineering exam. The class I’m in is notorious for being incredibly difficult and is oftentimes the reason for people dropping out of the major. Too bad the dudes in the apartment next to me have a subwoofer and keep playing music that has way too much bass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 86

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 14:01

Today, I told my mother-in-law that I was going through postpartum depression and was put on a antidepressant to help. Her response was, "Great, now we have a pill head in the family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 88

By happymum - 30/09/2011 11:10 - Netherlands

Today, I lost my watch at the pool. After giving a detailed description of it at the desk, I was really happy to hear someone had found it and handed it in. Too bad I was too late, because someone had already claimed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 170

You deserved it 2 546

By nosleeptilpissoff - 18/03/2011 15:54 - United States

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 343

You deserved it 6 370

By why?? - 20/04/2014 04:52 - United States - Englewood

Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 127

You deserved it 7 283

By mazey93 - 09/12/2016 19:14 - United Kingdom - Newport

Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 989

You deserved it 767

By Madison Ostermeier - 28/06/2019 12:05

Today, I went on a date. I'm a big Disney fan, so naturally the topic came up. He said, "The only Disney movie I didn't really like was Pocahontas." I have a Pocahontas tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 548

By Anonymous - 18/11/2011 11:17 - Canada

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 947

You deserved it 2 586

Suspicious Minds

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 16:01

Today, I finally found out why my wife always told me to never visit her at work. You see, my wife and I are dark haired with blue/brown eyes and our daughter is blonde with very striking emerald green eyes. You know who else is blonde with striking emerald eyes? My wife’s boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 88

By Cassie - 21/05/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 866

You deserved it 47 163

By elmangy - 11/08/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 728

You deserved it 5 952

By Anonymous - 13/05/2017 12:00

Today, a guy told me I was hot and that I should give him a chance. When I told him I was straight, he instantly called me a bigot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 473

You deserved it 380

By Anonymous - 15/04/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commerical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 404

You deserved it 24 408

By stalked - 08/01/2014 20:27 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 530

You deserved it 4 776

By Embarrassed wife - 21/12/2018 14:00

Today, I let my 5 year old play on my tablet while we were both using one of those family restrooms with two toilets. She took a selfie showing both on us on the toilet and sent it to my husband. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 1 222

By Kristin - 03/01/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 487

You deserved it 3 883

By Spencer Chan - 18/05/2017 14:00

Today, I ended a 15-year relationship. Don't worry, it wasn't mine. It was my parents'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 394

You deserved it 553

By firedlol - 02/08/2018 19:00

Today, I accidentally showed up 5 minutes late for my shift. My boss mercifully declared that I would not be fired if I called my mother and told her I love her. My mom died 11 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 930

You deserved it 230

By Humaned - 13/03/2016 20:54 - Cura?ao - Willemstad

Today, my school is making us take care of eggs for a teen pregnancy awareness project. Ever since we got the eggs, I've had nightmares, and people question why I don't want kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 049

You deserved it 1 719

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 948

You deserved it 8 701

By dumbucksally - 31/08/2018 06:00

Today, my 30-year-old boyfriend of 4 years OD'd on his mental health medication, resulting in a trip to the hospital. He said the experience was eye-opening and he wants to be 100% honest with me. He then said he wants to have sex with his biological mother, who he finally met last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 695

You deserved it 220

By erockinthesuburb - 19/02/2013 01:49 - United States

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 343

You deserved it 6 323

By Anon - 13/02/2010 14:53 - United States

Today, I messaged my sister on Facebook chat. We always start our conversations with "HEY SLUT" or "HEY WHORE" etc. It wasn't my sister. However, her boyfriend's mom has a great first impression of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 044

You deserved it 27 059

By fatty milkshakes - 29/01/2013 22:56 - United States

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 083

You deserved it 9 152

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 00:11 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 990

You deserved it 2 170

By ellarose - 10/04/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 828

You deserved it 3 247

By copycat - 19/03/2015 05:05 - United States - Norco

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 652

You deserved it 50 439

By SomeoneElse - 14/07/2009 13:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 241

You deserved it 3 348

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 01:30

Today, I ordered a surveillance camera for my home. The package got stolen after being delivered. I think they're onto me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 804

You deserved it 250

By Anonymous - 17/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 898

You deserved it 4 031

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 205

You deserved it 3 796

By voicelesspeasant - 03/11/2016 20:41

Today, weeks after I paid extra for faster shipping, I received confirmation that my paperwork for overseas voting has been received. Too bad the deadline in my state was yesterday. Thanks, Postal Service, for the consistency of your failures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 726

You deserved it 816

By Anonymous - 08/10/2011 13:04 - United States

Today, the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with posted pics of them kissing on Facebook, and tagged me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 963

You deserved it 4 177

By jocksblow - 14/11/2011 13:23 - United States

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 319

You deserved it 4 284

By spiderlady - 21/09/2015 03:00 - United States

Today, I walked face first into a near-invisible spiderweb. There's nothing worse than the feeling of a spider web wrapped around your face. Except maybe the feeling of the spider that saw my screaming mouth as a good hiding spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 932

You deserved it 2 159

By TextLoser - 05/08/2009 13:37 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 849

You deserved it 86 567

By Anonymous - 18/10/2015 12:53 - United States

Today, my mom was talking about my grandma's approaching death. When she saw I was getting upset, she gave me a weird look and asked me if I was PMSing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 789

You deserved it 1 759

By Oily - 16/12/2011 09:08 - New Zealand

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 171

You deserved it 14 395

Freaked out

By ADanceWithDavos - 07/07/2014 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 606

By Magicgwen - 26/04/2012 20:45 - France - Paris

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 619

You deserved it 3 781

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:34

Better than glow in the dark unicorns.

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:35

It could be worse-granny panties.

Comments

lovemeorhate11 6

Thursday 1 December 2011 22:33

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

chiddy_bang71 0

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:37

Good one.

chiddy_bang71 0

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:37

Good one.

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:50

^fail

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:04

What is 1 trying to accomplish?

Vball6 19

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Friday 2 December 2011 1:13

21- number 11 sounded like he was being sarcastic.

kaylalove1234 0

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Friday 2 December 2011 1:52

your dumb

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Friday 2 December 2011 2:15

my dumb what?

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Friday 2 December 2011 2:35

^^^ Actually original. XD

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Friday 2 December 2011 4:09

11- well that was quite stupid.

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Friday 2 December 2011 6:08

What I'm wondering is why a male doctor is needing to look at a girl's vaginal area. I mean... she would have known if it was a gynecology appointment (it's not something a parent would randomly force upon you out of nowhere). I can understand the chest (listening to the heart), but yeah... underwear usually implies panties.

andrewboygenius 4

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Friday 2 December 2011 7:39

OP states that they didn't know they were going to end up at the hospital, which implies maybe an accident occurred where a doctor (just so happens he is a male) had to look down in that area.

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Saturday 3 December 2011 1:53

I've heard a story about a girl who was sitting on a counter doing herself with a broom. Her parents come home and she panics and jumps, skewering herself in the process. Bet that girl didn't know what underwear to wear that day either

chocomilkshake 5

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Saturday 17 December 2011 16:22

Do you live in Arizona...? Or maybe that story just got around...I never heard of the person or anything but that story always made me feel sad for the people involved... ._.

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:34

Better than glow in the dark unicorns.

Babushka_Homyak 10

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:37

I personally think glow in the dark unicorns would be badass. Just my opinion though.

MrSassypants 32

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:04

Or glow in the dark unicorns showing their skulls. That would be amazing! FUCK YEAH! YES! YES! YES! Over did it huh? No? Okay then. YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:15

Doctors shouldn't comment on that shit! It's called being professional for a reason!

amanda_say_whutt 9

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:21

37- Why not ? I like it when my doctors are funny and I guess you could say "unprofessional" to a certain point. I am terrified of doctors so to me it shows me that they're human too.

TheWindowLicker 13

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:35

Also, it never said he commented on them, 37. Just that the doctor thought they were amusing, which could be anything from commenting on them to just giving a small chuckle. Either way, it's really not that big a deal in my opinion.

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Friday 2 December 2011 0:35

You know what would be bad ass??? Glow in the dark gangster snomen... Yhats right Ho ho ho!!! Bitch you know im coming to town Dick n balls are what you suck on falalalala Fuck off you red nosed bastard

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Friday 2 December 2011 8:00

61- get off the drugs darl... Clearly they are doing your brain no good

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Friday 2 December 2011 10:02

NOTHING is better than glow-in-the-dark unicorns.

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Friday 2 December 2011 12:37

If I were a doctor and some person I was treating was wearing glow in the dark underwear no matter what the shape, I would at least chuckle.

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:35

Did he diagnose the glowing skulls too?

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:20

No.

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:30

What a typical troll!!

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Saturday 3 December 2011 5:17

I thought that was funny :D

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:35

Derpina: Forever alone!!!

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Friday 2 December 2011 4:07

4- are you describing yourself??

allard 14

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Friday 2 December 2011 15:37

Troll face.

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Friday 2 December 2011 15:48

problem?

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Friday 2 December 2011 21:22

Oh my bad. Didn't realize I was talking about your mom ...

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:35

It could be worse-granny panties.

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:04

It could be worse no panties

MerrikBarbarian 9

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:04

My thoughts exactly! Better cute undies then grannie panties!

thisisafunnyname 12

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:27

or stained panties

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:57

It could be worse. Nothing at all?

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Friday 2 December 2011 0:39

Or lace undies with skid marks.

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Friday 2 December 2011 1:38

Could be worse.... No underwear. Diaper. Boom.

Mister_Triangle 21

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Friday 2 December 2011 7:31

There's a saying: always wear clean underwear because you never know when you'll get lucky or end up on a hospital. Now, novelty underwear isn't as bad as dirty underwear, but it sounds like OP is equally embarrassed.

Buttsexpirate 9

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:35

I'd find it kinda amusing to. maybe that's how you can start a conversation! It's quite a starting point haha.

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:36

Too* (:

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:46

Grammar Nazi!

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Friday 2 December 2011 2:34

I love your name

ananonymousguy 0

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Friday 2 December 2011 6:42

Illiterate Jew!

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:36

Glow in the dark? Not bad.

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Thursday 1 December 2011 23:58

I'm kind of jealous

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:36

I find that really adorable!

ifuckmonsters 5

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:37

Hey, you can invite him under the covers to take a peek;)

ifuckmonsters 5

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Thursday 1 December 2011 22:37

Hey, you can invite him under the covers to take a peek;)

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Friday 2 December 2011 6:01

ifuckmonsterstoo

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Friday 2 December 2011 8:09

DoublepostDoublepost

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 17

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 112

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 95