Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 029
You deserved it 2 796
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Top comments

UserError94 18

The lesson? Don't pee with an awkward meeting boner

81 3
xoxoblondee 31

Sounds like an (embarrassing) get home free pass.

45 1

Comments

UserError94 18

The lesson? Don't pee with an awkward meeting boner

81 3
TweetAnne 13

YDI for not paying attention before starting your business. I always make sure the seat is down before using the toilet. If I don't and fall in then that's my fault and my husbands for not putting the damn seat down.

5 28
UserError94 18

The toilet seat was down and he didn't fall in. What are you talking about exactly?

23 1
anonymuse_fml 31

I would imagine that the seat would have had to be down for the urine to be hitting the underside while the OP was taking a dump... either that or else they were sitting backwards or somehow managed to aim the pee over their shoulder and hit it behind them which would be impressive, but wouldn't make sense with this FML.

21 0
GreenArrow085 6

So if you always check before starting your business then how is it your husbands fault? BTW have you not heard of the feminist movement? Put your own seat down

0 3
thisguy22 33

Not your husbands... Totally your fault.

7 0
Kiernan151 25

I think how it happened 10 is that he just shoved his penis into the bowl and pee was spraying out from between the gap between the seat and the bowl. Happened to my grandpa and it makes a terrible mess with no sound.

1 3
anonymuse_fml 31

#25 - I realize how it happened... The entire second half of my post was tongue-in-cheek toward #10 since she totally missed what happened in the FML and went off on an unrelated tangent.

0 1
RubeusSwagrid 11

Better than halfway through the meeting I guess. Either way, urine trouble if you use public transport.

8 6
xoxoblondee 31

Sounds like an (embarrassing) get home free pass.

45 1
Dodge4x4Ram 46

I've had to wrestle with the toilet from taking mine after a flush.

0 6
foxy_grampa 19

You would think we would have made toilet seats that would prevent that by now

0 3
onlychildFTW 33

We have, for toddlers. Adults shouldn't need them...

0 0
snarkytruth 37

Maybe that's the reason some people get completely naked when they poo. (Ever notice it's only guys that do that?!) Pro tip: Always keep a complete change of clothes in your office as well as a casual set in the car. And If you pee sitting down wrangle that bad boy to keep its head down.

16 2
RubeusSwagrid 11

Urine trouble if you use public transport...

2 9
CoGhostRider 31

Why make basically the same comment twice?

4 0
lightningclicks 24

I'm just impressed at your knowledge of toilet terminology

6 0
MisterEx 28

Small wang too, eh? It's ok OP. I got your secret covered. I know that because uh, a friend told me a similar story once, after causally telling me his size. A friend. Yes.

9 0