Work: Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first... - FML

By anon - 23/11/2011 22:53

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 005

You deserved it 3 025

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Same thing different taste

By fucked - 24/08/2014 20:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 380

You deserved it 6 190

By TacoMan32 - 06/12/2016 04:26 - Canada

Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 170

You deserved it 632

Oops.

By Anonymous - 18/11/2017 01:30

Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 865

You deserved it 1 109

By mrsimintrouble - 29/07/2016 06:01 - United States - Redding

Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 747

You deserved it 2 361

By Tey - 22/12/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 910

You deserved it 17 844

By heymacie - 29/04/2016 01:41 - United States - Beckley

Today, it was my second day at my new job as a bank teller. I got locked in the vault while alarms were being tested. I was in there for an hour and none of my coworkers had even noticed that I'd gone missing. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 130

You deserved it 1 169

Bad day, huh?

By evenpoorer - 16/03/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8-hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I'm now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 003

You deserved it 3 570

By Chloe - 20/12/2010 18:08 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 983

You deserved it 65 757

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 06:56 - Australia - Elwood

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 543

You deserved it 3 360

By ari - 18/02/2013 22:15 - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 920

You deserved it 3 883

Next

Top comments

ilyuhms 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:32

i wish my job was that exciting

SxeDaze 13

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:33

Must have been a "BOMB" day at work...no , okay ill go back under my rock.

Comments

DownWithSebster 9

Thursday 24 November 2011 9:42

Isn't that part of your job? Why are you surprised?

cordelay98 10

Thursday 24 November 2011 9:42

sounds better than my life! I want some exciting things to happen to me!

captainfalcon7 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 9:44

did you get a raise?

MeMoUpT 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 9:53

Uzz that happened to me a bunch of times. When I worked security. You got alot more bs like that coming around your way man just expect it .

killak41 9

Thursday 24 November 2011 10:11

Trial by fire???

pandalove17 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 10:13

Lmao

mixmaster647 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 10:20

Why are you complaining its just ur job x.x

jasonpatel03 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 10:42

Started out reading it casually and ended up with my eyes super wide and me saying "ohh shiit" haha

julian24245 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 11:30

B**** please, that how I start off every morning.

ilovemusic0205 7

Thursday 24 November 2011 15:01

^Win

WhiteJoker_fml 7

Thursday 24 November 2011 11:59

Lol that's kinda like my summer job this year. On my first day on duty: "Attention Attention this is a staff announcement, code 1000 central warehouse, code 1000 central warehouse." Guess where I was standing? Also code 1000 is a pre-warning for evacuation... Luckily it got called off, but it was exciting nonetheless. Or that time that there was a stray backpack...

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The Top

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 151

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 090

You deserved it 18 231

The Top

Today, on my way back to work after lunch, my airbags deployed at a stop sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 887

You deserved it 1 673

Today, I was menaced by a shirtless crackhead with an aluminum bat for, "parking in the wrong parking lot" - not parking spot, parking LOT - while delivering pizza to one of many nearby apartment buildings. I'm not allowed to carry a weapon to defend myself, unless I wanna shell out $75 for a Mag flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 112

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 181

You deserved it 3 972

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 023

You deserved it 7 935

Today, I played back the images of the tiny camera I attached to the collar of my cat to figure out where she goes when she disappears for several days at a time. I found my husband with another woman in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 388

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 859

You deserved it 6 047