Work: Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first...

By anon - 23/11/2011 22:53

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 005

You deserved it 3 025

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Same thing different taste

By fucked - 24/08/2014 20:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 380

You deserved it 6 190

By TacoMan32 - 06/12/2016 04:26 - Canada

Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 170

You deserved it 632

Oops.

By Anonymous - 18/11/2017 01:30

Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 865

You deserved it 1 108

By mrsimintrouble - 29/07/2016 06:01 - United States - Redding

Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 747

You deserved it 2 361

By Tey - 22/12/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 910

You deserved it 17 843

By heymacie - 29/04/2016 01:41 - United States - Beckley

Today, it was my second day at my new job as a bank teller. I got locked in the vault while alarms were being tested. I was in there for an hour and none of my coworkers had even noticed that I'd gone missing. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 130

You deserved it 1 169

Bad day, huh?

By evenpoorer - 16/03/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8-hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I'm now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 002

You deserved it 3 570

By Chloe - 20/12/2010 18:08 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 983

You deserved it 65 757

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 06:56 - Australia - Elwood

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 543

You deserved it 3 359

By ari - 18/02/2013 22:15 - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 920

You deserved it 3 883

ilyuhms 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:32

i wish my job was that exciting

SxeDaze 13

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:33

Must have been a "BOMB" day at work...no , okay ill go back under my rock.

Comments

pfx2_fml 15

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:50

Maybe it's a joke they play on the new guy

sydie5 12

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:53

Don't complain; at least your job will never be boring.

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 24 November 2011 12:53

No but at some point a colleague could walk in and say "Jim's dead!" *get a cup of coffee* "ugh! Who made this?! So Jack, how're the wife and kids?" and everyone would be fine with it

max500 4

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:30

53- shut the **** up, your comments ******* suck everytime.

Cobro 5

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:57

Sounds like you had a blast! But then again you are security so you can't refuse these types of situations.

superpokgai123 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:59

How does tht suck? U probably get 2 walk around blowin up ppl with a shotgun!

SgtStud 4

Friday 25 November 2011 7:25

Yes because security guards usually carry shotguns...

flockz 19

Thursday 24 November 2011 9:04

being a mall cap is a risky career choice.

FYLDeep 25

Thursday 24 November 2011 9:11

Is that similar to a baseball cap? Regardless, I don't think I'd want to be either one.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Thursday 24 November 2011 9:13

Speak for yourself.

flockz 19

Thursday 24 November 2011 10:57

no it's not the same as a baseball cap. being a mall cap involves some heavy handed shit, like looking authoritative, while keeping that suave that only a mall cap can have. not to mention it has to be the perfect fit so it doesn't fly off the head of the mall cop while going blistering speeds on his segway. now baseball caps, ohhhhhhh let me tell you what. first of all, they're all mega-*****. always dirty, sweaty, and worn out until they smell like shit. not to mention anyone can wear one. have you seen one baseball cap with authority? no you haven't because baseball caps are the hookers of the cap world. and if you disagree then do this. turn the lights off. then take your baseball cap and sniff it. now doesn't that smell remind of you of that time you didn't shower for a week and you reached into your pants to scratch your plums and the fungus--- ok nevermind i think you get it.