Work: Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first...

By anon - 23/11/2011 22:53

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 005

You deserved it 3 025

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Same thing different taste

By fucked - 24/08/2014 20:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 380

You deserved it 6 190

By TacoMan32 - 06/12/2016 04:26 - Canada

Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 170

You deserved it 632

Oops.

By Anonymous - 18/11/2017 01:30

Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 865

You deserved it 1 109

By mrsimintrouble - 29/07/2016 06:01 - United States - Redding

Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 747

You deserved it 2 361

By Tey - 22/12/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 910

You deserved it 17 844

By heymacie - 29/04/2016 01:41 - United States - Beckley

Today, it was my second day at my new job as a bank teller. I got locked in the vault while alarms were being tested. I was in there for an hour and none of my coworkers had even noticed that I'd gone missing. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 130

You deserved it 1 169

Bad day, huh?

By evenpoorer - 16/03/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8-hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I'm now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 003

You deserved it 3 570

By Chloe - 20/12/2010 18:08 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 983

You deserved it 65 757

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 06:56 - Australia - Elwood

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 543

You deserved it 3 360

By ari - 18/02/2013 22:15 - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 920

You deserved it 3 883

ilyuhms 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:32

i wish my job was that exciting

SxeDaze 13

Thursday 24 November 2011 8:33

Must have been a "BOMB" day at work...no , okay ill go back under my rock.

Comments

Arxikist 3

Friday 25 November 2011 0:11

Sounds legit.

daxter136 0

Friday 25 November 2011 0:15

Viva la raza

stuth186 7

Friday 25 November 2011 0:18

Well you don't get paid to sit on your ass, isn't it part of your job to deal with that stuff?

CaptainB_fml 0

Friday 25 November 2011 2:49

It's not that suprising, people get threats all the time thy just keep them private like it should be..

laundryninja 1

Friday 25 November 2011 2:58

Its THE RED WIRE RED WIRE!!!!!

datboiryan 6

Friday 25 November 2011 3:46

Sounds like a fun job!

Bulmuag 0

Friday 25 November 2011 5:56

Hey atleast the bomb didn't go off.

Bulmuag 0

Friday 25 November 2011 5:56

Hey atleast the bomb didn't go off.

BD_Swingin 0

Friday 25 November 2011 7:01

Well obviously you're still alive, so don't worry.

JudahWhiskey 0

Friday 25 November 2011 8:44

Lmao

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 053

You deserved it 3 116

Today, my dad, who never supported us growing up, and who calls once a month to collect his monthly living expenses, gave me an ultimatum: either buy him a plane ticket so that he can come live with me forever (he's a raging alcoholic) OR to send him $4,500 US Dollars (which where he lives is someone's 6 month salary). FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 106

The Top

Today, as I go to a small private Christian college, the academic dean came up to me and asked me to put some old records on CD, since I have a record player that can do that. I had to listen to eight records of old students from the 1970's singing bible thumper Christian hippie music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 030

You deserved it 9 641

Today, I had to stand outside the changing room while two of my coworkers had noisy sex. I just needed my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 228

Today, after getting my first debit card, I spent £60 on porn online. My mum made me print off a statement at the ATM as she wanted to know where my money had gone. She saw everything and cut up my card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 006

You deserved it 8 557

Today, I finally told the girl I'm in love with how I've felt ever since we first met six years ago. She let me know that not only does she not feel the same way, she's always considered me a creep and only ever hung out with me because of our mutual friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 579

You deserved it 991

Today, my best female friend got dumped. Seeing how I was alone when I got dumped, I didn't want her to feel the same, so I was nice to her and tried to help her as much as I could. I've now been getting constant messages from our mutual friends, telling me to stop hitting on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 979

You deserved it 518

Today, my dad is such an asshole, he pulled out into traffic because he was too impatient to wait, which is how we ended up in the middle of a funeral for 5 miles, right behind the hearse. It was the funeral of a friend's dad and now I have 87 missed calls from her, and I’m too scared to answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 135

Same thing different taste

Oops.

Bad day, huh?

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