Homeowners: Home Improvement

Home Improvement

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 23:01 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I heard what sounded like an explosion from the basement of my house. Turns out my foundation cracked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 55

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Ouch

By Oldhouse - 22/07/2014 03:46 - United States - Hacienda Heights

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 973

You deserved it 5 579

By imatotalloser - 28/07/2017 05:00

Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 273

You deserved it 341

By Anonymous - 04/08/2009 00:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 308

You deserved it 2 688

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 03:47 - United States

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 558

You deserved it 14 236

By elle - 23/05/2011 10:17

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 330

You deserved it 4 142

By Anonymous - 07/05/2011 21:42 - United States

Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 462

You deserved it 4 809

By MWT77 - 27/07/2019 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I came home from my aunt's funeral to find my basement flooded due to a sewer backup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 97

By jennybrev - 13/07/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 694

You deserved it 2 853

By behold the Underminer - 14/08/2018 13:00

Today, the water company found that a water main has been leaking steadily possibly for decades and has turned the land my house is built on into an underground bog. Cracks have been appearing in my walls for a while, apparently because my house is slowly sinking into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 760

You deserved it 147

Spooked

By Anonymous - 18/03/2021 08:01

Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 83

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 14 December 2020 6:20

Maybe your house saw a really big spider, and tried to warn you.

coius 23

Tuesday 15 December 2020 23:47

Never let your house jump rope.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 14 December 2020 6:20

Maybe your house saw a really big spider, and tried to warn you.

coius 23

Tuesday 15 December 2020 23:47

Never let your house jump rope.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 569

You deserved it 94 767

Today, my English teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet, I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 761

You deserved it 73 444

Today, my little sister was rhyming words with "truck." When she came to "fuck", I told her never to say that word again because it was bad. She ran around the house screaming it. I'm in trouble for being "a bad influence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 225

Today, I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. I've had a really bad week and am feeling depressed, and he knows this. He's also just decided to tell me he has a two-month-old daughter. We do not have an open relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 270

You deserved it 484

Today, I know my ex has spoiled our daughter. How do I know this? Because I got her a low level job at the same company as me, got her first paycheck and legit asked me, “Is that it? Where’s the rest of my money?” What rest of her money? That’s her wages for a months work. Curse my rich ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 217

Today, my girlfriend of six months dumped me over the phone. I'm in the military and recently had to move away to another fort. We'd agreed that we would try to make long distance work. I'd even offered to buy a plane ticket to come see her each weekend. I've been gone less than two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 305

You deserved it 2 935

Home Improvement

Same thing different taste

Ouch

Spooked

Top comments

Comments