Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML
Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, we were planning to go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. My kids and I were all dressed and ready to go when my husband waltzes in with fast food. He said he found some coupons for a free family meal. The kids and I got upset and he said, "I didn't have to get this for you guys." FML
Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
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Top comments
Solkre 0
Three hours, were you sewing clothes?
koco4 0
I think she was literally putting on her face. I can understand if it was a first date, but not in a relationship. She just screams high maintenance.
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Comments (139)
Philosophic 0
Full story please OP.. Once at McDonalds he proposed with a million dollar ring? Heh Heh . Stevie Wonders ( mcdonalds reference ).
Ucla_cupcake 0
Lmao. Win!
PsychoMerk 0
I don't see the fml here... unless he didn't mean for the condoms to be used between the two >_> Mcflurry!!!! :DDD
Luckster 0
God damnit...I want some chicken nuggets now... *grabs her wallet and drags her boyfriend out the door*
PsychoMerk 0
poor boyfriend... rug burn :( buy him a Happy Meal to make up for it >_>
Luckster 0
But he'll just play with the toy and let his food get cold!
PsychoMerk 0
sounds exactly like me :3
sadistmonkey 19
Three hours. To get ready... I don't care what you were preparing for, if it's not a wedding or some festival/ceremony where lots of back preparation is required, YDI.
aardvarkish 17
condoms? that's so 2006!
maskedman 9
I know. STDs and illegitimate babies are the cool things nowadays. Unless you were talking about them using the three seashells instead.
aardvarkish 17
the three seashells? never heard of it...
kaileebug 0
if I'm not mistaken, the three sea shells are the next generation of toilet paper... am I right?
katmandont 0
@89 - We use surgical gloves. Get a good 5-way (or 6-way) going...
maskedman 9
Kaileebug is right. Three seashells is toilet paper. So for whoever is reading this, do not use the three seashells for sex or you might wind up with the worst STD: a baby. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
goonie85 0
As a mother, Im offended by you calling a precious baby an STD. Everyone knows it's a parasite.
XCaLX_fml 0
haha
_TheSmallThings_ 0
Your bf duznt need to take u sumwhere extravigent every date u dumb hoe!
koco4 0
English, please. lol
sterrizzill 0
two birds, one stone
Cinn_fml 23
To be fair to the OP, most people would be a bit miffed if they thought they were going out to lunch and then ended up in a Mcdonalds, especially one in a store. I mean, Mcdonalds isn't really food in the first place, but if you must eat there it's more of a; we're hanging around town and happen to be hungry capacity. But three hours preparation was a bit excessive. So basically I don't think those condoms got used, unless he made it upto you since.
aardvarkish 17
water balloons?
QuidProQuo 1
i call the clear ones for my team
ookshnnad 0
loser
Cinn_fml 23
I call the glow in the dark ones (from that other fml) for my team! :p
w00kye 0
3 ? c'on , u're going out not getting married