Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML
Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, we were planning to go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. My kids and I were all dressed and ready to go when my husband waltzes in with fast food. He said he found some coupons for a free family meal. The kids and I got upset and he said, "I didn't have to get this for you guys." FML
Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
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Top comments
Solkre 0
Three hours, were you sewing clothes?
koco4 0
I think she was literally putting on her face. I can understand if it was a first date, but not in a relationship. She just screams high maintenance.
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Comments (139)
Fop 6
YDI for spending three hours getting ready for LUNCH. Also, why can't we italicize text here? Capitalizing looks bad. Seriously though, THREE HOURS?!
Osakhomen 0
3 hours? WTF that's way too long for just lunch anyway.... 3 hours is way too long to get ready for most things!
Trixies100 0
wow you must really care about what other people think of you if you took 3 hours to get ready. It takes me an. maybe less, But I stil look good.
whatshernuts 0
Agreeeed with Tarynkd. Definitely shenanigans.
RachelTM 0
On the comment rules: Don't post any comments which comment on the validity of an FML (screaming Fake, It's not an FML for example), or even on whether the FML deserves to be on the website. Don't ruin the website for the other users.
QuidProQuo 1
FAKE we need some more shenanigans
JanisEvans 10
WUT? Saying that something isn't a FML is the only thing that makes that site worthwhile. We are all here to tell whiny bitches to shut the **** up!
whatshernuts 0
Lmao what? If I remember right the comments weren't even saying this wasn't an FML.
cdawn 0
haha funny!!!
saywhaaat_01 0
this isn't an FML. sure, the lunch may have been crappy and un-romantic, but if he's going to get condoms, it obviously means you're gonna have sex! (:
Erindub 0
Sounds like a pretty romantic evening. Shit at least he bought you dinner and actually wears condoms
karina_said 0
i agree. at least he didnt make you pay for your salad or anything.
kellyann90 0
What are you doing that takes you three hours to get ready?
RODEOqueen 0
Exactly. It's a lunch date, not the Grammies or a photo shoot for Playboy.
unknown_female 0
i hope it's the most romantic and memorable night ever for you two -_-
amayasoma 19
3 hours? Really? That's crazy. Besides, out to lunch is just that, out to lunch. If he wanted you to look your damn best I believe he would have told you. FHL for having to wait on your ass for 3 hours.
Giorgio272 2
serves you right for misunderstanding. Next time listen to yo man and suck his dick when he wants you too.