Miscellaneous: Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into...

By ConfusedGirl - 15/12/2015 13:03 - United States - Pittsford

Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 057

You deserved it 2 214

Miscellaneous

Dementia or hate? You decide

This Charming Man

Baker's dozen

By Anonymous - 23/12/2012 05:01 - Canada

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 743

You deserved it 7 897

By Anonymous - 13/12/2010 03:03 - Korea Republic of

Today, I met my boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents. I had to listen to them while they called me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compared to nice, pretty, Korean girls. They don't know I speak Korean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 816

You deserved it 3 558

By replik - 25/01/2012 15:50 - Russian Federation

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 127

You deserved it 2 146

Thanks, I hate it!

By poorkids - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Auburn

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 324

You deserved it 4 128

By eggman 583 - 13/09/2016 21:12 - United States - Massapequa

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was, "trying to change her." A week ago I asked her to stop talking to the 6 guys that have all previously asked her for nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 495

You deserved it 1 163

By trgtyo - 18/05/2009 23:20 - United States

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 652

You deserved it 3 596

By Lonely - 23/08/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, it was the last day of camp. I told my friends we should exchange e-mail addresses so we could stay in touch. Apparently, they all had already exchanged their contact info. Nobody asked me for one piece of my contact info even once during the entire six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 629

You deserved it 4 677

By Ohgodhelpme - 25/10/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds sweet, right? Then he invited my 10/14-year-old cousins to our house. They surprised me in my room. While I was using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 453

You deserved it 727

By Anonymous - 12/03/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I still have the bronchitis and the stomach flu that I suffered through all weekend. Today was to be the day I had my bachelorette party and wedding shower. I had to call both of them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 851

You deserved it 2 346

By mcase - 31/07/2012 05:36 - United States - Compton

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 153

You deserved it 4 953

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 19:31 - United States

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 820

You deserved it 32 945

By marenthehollow - 31/10/2016 00:33 - United States - American Fork

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for saving them money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 483

You deserved it 895

By WTFsalad - 18/02/2010 02:46 - United States

Today, I was leaving Wal-Mart with my daughter when a man was speeding the wrong way in the parking lot. To avoid getting hit, I pulled over to the side. He thought I was going the wrong way. He got out cursing and screaming and punched a dent in my hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 854

You deserved it 2 429

By bored - 27/11/2012 18:05 - United States

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 310

You deserved it 5 647

By period_probs - 16/12/2014 01:23 - United States - King George

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 454

You deserved it 3 019

By Broeman - 13/09/2009 23:10 - United States

Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her stoner, unemployed boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 934

You deserved it 4 318

By lonerboner - 03/10/2012 13:47 - United States

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 008

You deserved it 37 125

By Betrayed - 31/07/2009 09:35 - United States

Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 064

You deserved it 3 996

By SadGuy - 26/04/2011 06:18 - United Kingdom

Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 500

You deserved it 3 770

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 22:31 - United States

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 633

You deserved it 2 214

On the ball

By angie24w - 19/06/2020 07:55

Today, after an emergency doctor told me to go to the pharmacy to get Zantac for possible stomach ulcers, I was told by the pharmacist that it was actually recalled a year ago. I had to pay almost double the price for another antacid. Thanks a lot for knowing your stuff, ER doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 160

By NeedANewWindshield - 24/08/2019 14:00

Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 539

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 05/01/2017 11:20

Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 721

You deserved it 1 839

By Tree - 30/07/2010 11:34 - France

Today, my husband told me "The only reason I stay with you is because it's cheaper than paying child support." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 013

You deserved it 5 764

By gemma - 11/09/2012 16:56 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 764

You deserved it 59 247

By washed - 11/10/2009 23:30 - United States

Today, I learned that my boyfriend hides valuables in the washing machine under dirty clothes when leaving town for the weekend. I learned this AFTER I'd done a load of laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 972

You deserved it 3 366

You're my mommy now

By Lissy - 05/01/2021 14:02

Today, and everyday since we got a puppy in March, my husband is jealous of the puppy who follows me everywhere. He was the one that wanted the puppy and now he practically hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 178

By fgbh456 - 28/12/2011 00:48 - United States

Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 044

You deserved it 2 365

By Brook363 - 27/05/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 689

You deserved it 3 091

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:49 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 386

You deserved it 6 536

By LCDRBrownHercules - 22/09/2015 01:44 - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, my 5-year-old daughter sobbed inconsolably on my return home from a several-month long deployment to the Middle East. I was touched by her reaction until she blurted out that she wasn't crying because she missed me, but because my shaved head looked scary ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 715

You deserved it 1 972

Brave

By :// - 04/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 374

You deserved it 5 830

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 656

You deserved it 3 406

By apparently-a-shed - 05/03/2013 12:20 - United Kingdom - Worcester

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 394

You deserved it 3 249

By Anonymous - 27/01/2011 02:53 - United States

Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying "I love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 032

You deserved it 4 171

By smh - 03/11/2015 20:04 - United States - Beulah

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend of two years asked me out on a date was because I accidentally flashed him when we met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 350

You deserved it 2 990

By allalone - 14/07/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 287

You deserved it 45 293

By Anonymous - 22/10/2009 03:16 - Canada

Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 415

You deserved it 5 316

By Anonymous - 30/03/2014 18:45 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 782

You deserved it 3 862

Life decisions

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 05:05

Today, I decided to break up with my girlfriend after I got home and realised I was happier sat in my car on the street than I would be if I went inside and had to put up with her whining and her 2 spoiled daughters for even one more day. So now I’m happy, but also homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 384

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Top comments

omgcyndaquil 23

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:15

Time for a frank conversation. Different strokes for different folks and all that.

AwkwardKarma 18

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:18

He was probably just having some fun.

thelordofpies 20

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:13

oh No!!!!!

beeferjay 34

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:31

just let it happen... shhhhh

fpants2010 18

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 23:41

That added alot to the conversation.

tormcn 26

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 23:44

Let it happen? I wouldn't want him to stetch my clothes.

Obito_Uchiha651 17

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Wednesday 16 December 2015 2:32

Thank you for your contribution this comment thread would've been incomplete without your input

omgcyndaquil 23

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:15

Time for a frank conversation. Different strokes for different folks and all that.

FoucaultsBitch 6

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Wednesday 16 December 2015 3:09

Exactly. Men have absolutely NO aids to make them feel beautiful. Sometimes you just want to feel pretty.

ericizadd 6

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:15

Sometimes these FMLs lack information. But coming home to that does suck.

XxDanno316xX 27

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 21:04

What more information do you need?, Did you want a detailed list of the actual items of clothes?

HappyItalian 38

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 23:23

I think what he meant is that he wants a follow-up.

DaEpicTaco 13

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:15

That's awkward..

OinkersPig 13

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:15

That sucks! fyl

whysobeachy 37

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 22:44

There's a button for that, you know.

mds9986 24

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Wednesday 16 December 2015 0:22

^ there's also a downvote button for that. And this. There's buttons for a whole lot of things.

KhaleesiDannie 26

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Wednesday 16 December 2015 7:45

and for everything else there's MasterCard

Adam_Power58 16

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:15

Wow I say you did not know what to do or think! You should hope it was a dare from his friends but FYL,OP embarrassing moment hope you say what happened next

yourwifelovesme 25

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:15

there's your Christmas card idea right there lol

XXFMLXXQUEENXX 29

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:15

Well, that was unexpected.

Krystal3408 32

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:16

At least he wasn't cheating? Sorry OP, just talk to him about what's going through his mind and I hope it goes well!

dncp1972 3

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 20:36

Maybe a guy just left moments before she got home. Or a woman and they were playing to be lesbians.

lolhailsatan 23

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Tuesday 15 December 2015 22:07

what???^^^

RedPillSucks 31

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Wednesday 16 December 2015 1:58

wait..wait.. let me try... maybe he was trying to arrange your closet and there weren't enough hangers. maybe he tripped and fell into your closet and got tangled up in the clothes just right, quantum mechanics says it's possible.