Kids: Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense.... - FML

By Jakesssss - 10/04/2015 01:02 - United States - Hudson

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 277

You deserved it 10 821

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 381

By Braxam - 15/06/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 586

You deserved it 3 641

By Anonymous - 23/03/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 374

You deserved it 34 847

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 20:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 798

You deserved it 54 526

Cobra KO

By WeakBitch - 18/02/2018 15:00

Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 7 643

By inpain - 17/03/2016 04:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 894

You deserved it 2 410

By aero00 - 27/07/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 567

You deserved it 13 509

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 395

You deserved it 66 459

So, here's the thing…

By dad - 28/04/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 651

By TKDConnor92 - 22/07/2011 10:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 660

You deserved it 6 733

Next

Top comments

Aspen_Grace33 27

Friday 10 April 2015 12:17

Well, look at the bright side...you're a great teacher!!!

Abdul888 16

Friday 10 April 2015 12:27

You taught him "self defense," and now the brat learned to assault.

Comments

Aspen_Grace33 27

Friday 10 April 2015 12:17

Well, look at the bright side...you're a great teacher!!!

assurant 12

Friday 10 April 2015 12:17

he is either a fast learner or he just really wanted to kick ass

gracehi 31

Friday 10 April 2015 12:17

And the student becomes the master.

Iz15 4

Monday 6 June 2016 9:31

always

nana_star 27

Friday 10 April 2015 12:17

At least you know you make an excellent teacher.

idontknow8 8

Saturday 11 April 2015 5:41

i read your comment in castiels voice lol

cutycat136 28

Friday 10 April 2015 12:17

Should've seen it coming. Who wouldn't want to try it out after to see if it actually works, and who better to try it out on than the teacher that taught it to you?

Dreamsorrow93 24

Friday 10 April 2015 12:42

It honestly sounded like something I'd do.

Brandi_Faith 33

Friday 10 April 2015 19:07

How would they know if they've learnt it correctly unless they try the move out? Joking (kinda). If you don't want the move being done than you should probably let your students know not to do it hard, only in slo-mo; because I can see some students wanting to make sure they're able to do it.

silvermoon5033 26

Friday 10 April 2015 12:17

At least you taught him correctly?

the_aspect 28

Friday 10 April 2015 12:18

why would he do the same thing to you once you reached him the moves? Did an Karate teacher teach you those moves?

haileyrows 26

Friday 10 April 2015 12:20

Were you floored by his newfound talent?

FYLTHOUGH 15

Friday 10 April 2015 12:23

wtf kind of technique is this that even a child can knock someone out

Rkikkas9713 25

Friday 10 April 2015 13:58

The Wuxi finger hold.

Brandi_Faith 33

Friday 10 April 2015 19:11

The sleeper? Unless op meant some sort of punch that knocked people out?

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 10 April 2015 20:11

Clearly it was the Vulcan neck pinch.

Tander 16

Friday 10 April 2015 20:40

22 - Oh, you know this hold?

MaT30123 19

Friday 10 April 2015 21:26

A karate chop to the chest (sarcasm)

russfml 31

Friday 10 April 2015 12:24

Now that's a new way to get an ironic fist in the face.

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 424

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 275

You deserved it 3 577

The Top

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 691

You deserved it 6 400

Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 503

You deserved it 1 924

Today, I finally spent the night with a new guy after recently ending a 3-year toxic relationship. The new guy disappeared for 2 hours in the middle of the night, then came back to bed. Turns out he was busy snogging my housemate. I really choose them well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 798

You deserved it 546

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 758

You deserved it 5 002

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 3 128

Today, I went out with my ex-girlfriend, with whom I have a good friendship with and am in fact still in love. I picked her up at her house and we had a perfect night together that ended with sex in my car. As I dropped her off, she turned to me and said, "I hope you know we're just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 1 669