Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML
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Top comments
Nikkitaria 9
Let me guess... You tried to settle the fight by offering to take the last slice?
JustinKirby 20
You learned your lesson I guess, mind your own business OP! Sorry you got hit but next time watch from a distance and stay out of it
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Comments (81)
davincidasecond 24
JUST PRESS THE GODDAMN BUTTON.
thecrazymancan 17
Just because the fight was over something stupid doesn't mean you shouldn't still break it up. It just means you're intellectually superior to both of them. :P
OptimusVader 23
True meaning of The Hunger Games.
threer 30
You guys are ******* stupid.. It was a trap and he/she is wasting your time on purpose.
Xotoolyxo 16
You should've taken that last piece of pizza and ran
LissaMccracken 23
Well that's why you don't get in other peoples business...
TogeBara 12
mind your own business man, like if the was getting a total beatdown, sure save 'em, but if they are pretty even it's best to sometimes let them find their limits and also know that they don't want to get into fights after the last piece is gone and they still have that bruise, they'll regret it.
RexDalmaticum 8
and did you get your slice??
ihatehowiloveu13 12
Thats why you NEVER get between to fat kids and pizza... LOL
sanecatlady 13
People fight over the most stupid things! It's better to just stay out of it and call the police or someone who can do something than try to be a hero.