Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML
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Top comments
Nikkitaria 9
Let me guess... You tried to settle the fight by offering to take the last slice?
JustinKirby 20
You learned your lesson I guess, mind your own business OP! Sorry you got hit but next time watch from a distance and stay out of it
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Comments (81)
lilhellian 27
I still don't like when people touch my pizza!
EvilLittleMan 23
If they were fighting over the last slice of pizza imagine the battle over the last few food stamps for the month when there's 29 days to go.
tbabyfosho 7
You, are also an ignoramus.
spluver0005 17
Sorry you got a black eye, but good for you for trying to do the right thing
jasmine2301 25
Must have been siblings. Shouldnt stop slibling fights. You'll end up getting hurt...
rakooligan 11
I've killed for less.
Joshwarrior 39
One of the most manly reasons to fight is over the last piece. Remember all is fair in food and war.
gracehi 33
Pizza: It inspires hunger, delight, and violence. Behold its delicious power and tremble.
iamtheinsomniac 11
There's a button for that
chuka81 27
You got beat up by kids. Shame on you.
perdix 31
So, who got the last slice of pizza? Don't leave us hanging!!!