Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML
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Top comments
Nikkitaria 9
Let me guess... You tried to settle the fight by offering to take the last slice?
JustinKirby 20
You learned your lesson I guess, mind your own business OP! Sorry you got hit but next time watch from a distance and stay out of it
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Comments (81)
benmec 18
Fat kids take their pizza very seriously. Don't even think to interfere if there's cake involved.
perdix 31
#27, not to mention that when fat kids get their weight into it, their chubby, little fists can be devastating.
starile 20
I would think that the fat would cushion the blow. Like pillowy slabs of meat tenderizing each other in an attempt to get themselves more fat. Makes me wonder, would the winner in a fat fight... eat... the other one?
JRFaceless 8
I hate when people try to break up fights between total strangers, just mind your own damn business next time
dacronsurtr 7
Honestly that is a terrible view. What you are telling me, is that if you were getting the tar beat out of you in the middle of the street, and I was walking by, to just sit there and ignore it? Negative, I've been raised better, even if you were in the wrong.
TheDrifter 24
I'd intervene if it was a mugging, or 28 was screaming for help, but stepping into a consensual fight? No, you let that one go. Some fights need to be fought.
Enslaved 38
I know some guys that look forward to other people's fights just so they can throw a few punches themselves.
WhiteCrimson 23
Shame for getting hit OP, but you should watch out, people now days are much more violent than back in the day. It's like some of us are devolving back to cave men. Steer clear and let the guys with the correct tools and training sort them apples.
RedPillSucks 33
More violent than be headings, hangings, lynchings? We must be remembering different days.
Enslaved 38
'Cause I'm a crepe I'm a weirddough What the hell am I doughing here? I doughnut belong here. No knead to roll your eyes!
perdix 31
#32, is that you or did Weird Al hijack your account again?
lightanddark 17
great one
Fuzy2K 7
Ooh! Next, sing Lotus Flour! (sorry)
CreepInTheCorner 11
Pizza is important stuff, man.
gracehi 33
^ Listen to this guy. He knows what he's talking about.
llnursingll 10
oh that stinks, but you had great intentions. don't stop being a great person. hope your eye gets well soon.
sunnyray812 42
Those kids must've been pretty serious about it.
shanannygians07 28
I just laughed so hard I almost cried. But I doubt op really could drag two guys home
soapmactavish82 8
Hey at least the we're fighting over a video game like most kids these days
martin8337 36
That sucks , YLS but also YDI, stay out of other people's fights.