Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
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Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, my 20-year-old sister is taking care of my cat while I am out of state. She sent a photo of him "playing in a silly way" with her kitty. I then had to very seriously explain to her that in the photo, my cat and her cat were trying to make more cats. FML
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
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Top comments
paperfox_fml 0
You didn't deserve that. But maybe next time instead of telling him that he can't go near it because it doesn't like him, teach him how to handle it properly.
Helinacoustic 0
Karma. And cats have a sense of irony.
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Comments (65)
dammn 0
you might not know it , but cats can hear :P
lyndis_fml 0
If the cat didn't mind, why did you?
Casualt1234 0
#36. I have nothing against a little flair in a sentence, but I do when it is pointless or just doesn't make sense. Plus, most FMLs I've read use the particular phrase, "proceeds to," which is an annoying trend. Haha, I found this phrase from a media writing website: Wordiness: Say what you need to say in as few words as possible. For example, don't write, "The man proceeded to leave the building." Instead, write "The man left the building." Plus, proceed is a word that is a little too formal for situations such as this.
itsCJK 0
KKAAARRRMMMAAAAAAA :p
dreamofme 0
Oh, who cares? It's a kitten. It's going to claw and bite. All of them do it. Don't feel like the universe is so hard against you just because your kitten does kitten-like things. I think you'll make it. ... so even though you didn't deserve it, it's ...absolutely no big deal.
eppie 0
thats what you get for having one of those bastards........ill shoot him for you
summer66_fml 0
pwned
rhianna060 8
Maybe teach him how to be nice next time.
PrettyVal 0
...it's a KITTEN, yes? Kittens like to play. They play by biting and scratching.
bredrawk 0
The kitten didn't scratch you because it didn't like you. It scratched you because it was annoyed because of your brother being rough with it. Your brother was hurting your kitten.