Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, my 20-year-old sister is taking care of my cat while I am out of state. She sent a photo of him "playing in a silly way" with her kitty. I then had to very seriously explain to her that in the photo, my cat and her cat were trying to make more cats. FML
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
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Top comments
paperfox_fml 0
You didn't deserve that. But maybe next time instead of telling him that he can't go near it because it doesn't like him, teach him how to handle it properly.
Helinacoustic 0
Karma. And cats have a sense of irony.
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Comments (65)
coreenn 0
Amen to #3 LOL
lifeislife_fml 0
Then proceeded to. Then proceeded to. Then proceeded. Why must every other FML use this?
lmmmr 0
#31, nothing wrong with a little complex sentence structure. Embellishment is only looked down upon in media writing.
tfmitri 0
Haha. Sorry.
lmmmr 0
#28 - She didn't take it away because she didn't want to share, she took it away because the kid wasn't being gentle. Read the FML before you comment.
mehwhateverr 0
You don't tell a little boy the cat doesn't like him... that's bound to upset him. You tell him to be gentle and then help him hold the cat. If he doesn't do it right, then take it away, telling him what's wrong with what he's doing.
lmmmr 0
This really is a YDI though, because the cat is obviously going to be agitated if the kid has been annoying it. You should have taken it away and let it run off until it settles down.
ASatanistHobo 0
I know right, HOW DARE the op not want their cat to get hurt
birds_fml 7
I wouldn't let children handle my pets either. Children are mean.
LuxLisbon_fml 0
The OP said it 'in a joking tone' - they weren't being mean, probably just trying to be diplomatic so as NOT to upset the five-year-old, and to get as quick a response as possible so the kitten didn't get hurt, which is surely more important than the child being a bit upset for a moment or two. Also, I'm assuming the OP doesn't live with their brother. Anyway, a kitten isn't a toy to be 'shared' - it should have a responsible adult taking care of it.