Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML
Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML
Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year-old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother, who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year-old girl." FML
Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML
Today, I had a double cheeseburger with a side of onion rings for lunch. Thirty minutes later my body reacted by giving me a bellyache and a HUGE need to shit. The good news, it was a normal pooh; it's just when I eat big, I go big. Bad. I was in his car with my guy when I "let go". He definitely noticed & smelled it. FML
Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
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Top comments
DynamicDave 11
Lmao WTF is an "extremely forceful erection"? Did you **** IN YOUR PANTS? lol
couny343 1
Turned on by a burger?
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Comments (65)
Assassin342 0
I think you should definitely go on a diet if you get hard about a burger
zombiebombatron 6
No need for ****, my friend!
BFons 19
What happened when you first saw the baconator?
TheCerealKiller 24
Don't worry, meat gives me erections too.
rnewmz97 9
I was the 9000th ydi
DToast 19
Windows 10 is out now