Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML
Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML
Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year-old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother, who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year-old girl." FML
Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML
Today, I had a double cheeseburger with a side of onion rings for lunch. Thirty minutes later my body reacted by giving me a bellyache and a HUGE need to shit. The good news, it was a normal pooh; it's just when I eat big, I go big. Bad. I was in his car with my guy when I "let go". He definitely noticed & smelled it. FML
Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
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Top comments
DynamicDave 11
Lmao WTF is an "extremely forceful erection"? Did you **** IN YOUR PANTS? lol
couny343 1
Turned on by a burger?
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Comments (65)
souliloquy 0
ydi for being fat enough to get an erection at the thought of food.
Sparkiee93 3
Now THAT made me lol. What kind of a jew gets a boner from hearing about a sandwich?? I agree your diet starts now.
Ninjaface 0
Dude. Antisemitism= not cool.
gpstyne 0
are we twelve and unable to control our erections or do you have a burger fetish?
Johnny_k123 0
This is one of the most hilarious things I ever read. ****. Your. Life.
dabeachbum 0
lol u got aroused by a burger haha wow fatty F ur life pudgy pudge pudge
Ninjaface 0
Hm, they seem to have moderated that stupid antisemitic comment that someone made. Good for them.
Ninjaface 0
The really ironic part is that if you were to ever actually eat said burger then your arteries would get clogged and you'd no longer be able to maintain said erection.
fakkumairaifu 14
I don't know which part of this FML is the most disgusting. I live in Japan, but I won't be going anywhere near DEATH BY PROCESSED BEEF anytime soon.
bubblicious137 0
Haha, fatty! God, get a girlfriend or something