By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 14:34 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 674
You deserved it 7 551
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Exodiafinder687 58

For those who have just had lunch, are having lunch, or are about to have lunch do yourself a favor and don't look up "felching."

347 3
Ainarr 29

I don't even know what felching is. Public school these days. ):

332 14

Comments

moomimamoo 24

This is what my generation is interested and more knowledgable than adults on...? Really?? Looks like OP didn't give the talk, they got it...

16 14
UhHuhHoney 20

What is felching?

6 37
False_Stupidity 41

Just look at the other comments. You'll be sorry you ever asked.

18 1
ashieme2009 12

#90 you only got the thumbs up.because you said poop hole

1 11
TanzWolf 26

Did you even ready the dirt comment chain? Actually, here's better advice: don't.

0 1
tigerisabelle 31

For all who do not know, felching is the practice of "drinking" semen from various parts of the body, like ******. Yes it's disgusting and now I can't eat lunch anymore

26 5
UhHuhHoney 20

I didn't know semen came out from various body parts...

2 49
sstahpp 33

Hahaha..you have to put it there in order for someone to suck it out.

40 2
loserman67 35

Did he also explain "shrimping" ? For those of you who don't know, "shrimping" is sucking semen out of your sexual partner's ****** or rectum with a straw. Enjoy your lunch / dinner

22 7
Regimental_Phan 18

thanks to you I have to go get my brain bleached ASAP!

3 11
SystemofaBlink41 27

*gags* Why can't I stop myself from reading?!

21 0
UhHuhHoney 20

Wtf, I feel like I'm so behind with all these sexual terms.

25 1
salamancer 11

I need a fire hose to wash out my brain asap

40 2
Hasselhoffart 15

Speaking of felching, I think I'll have a milkshake with my lunch.

36 3
vikky538 28

thats a super knowledge on sex education..

5 1
mld4657 28

this reminds me why I don't want kids

18 8
YepThatsMeee 23

But that's precisely why you should have kids. So they can give you the sex talk, so you won't have any more kids.

2 10
systemofadylan 9

Must have been a really great bonding experience.

14 3
Laurenlou 24

This reminds me why I always said I will monitor my children's internet usage and homeschool. YDI for not telling your kid sooner if they are already in their teens. FYL if you child is young and learned that from peers at school already.

9 33
kl0x 8

That's the real problem. In m country people use to say " they'll know from friends", then shit happens when they get pregnant because jumping around would never get you pregnant or in certain a momenta of the month.. Leaving the learning of such a topic for others is really dangerous.

13 3
FatedB 12

Wait so let me get this straight, your plan for parenting is literally sheltering them from any life experiences? Correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm not trying to judge. I've also heard if you try and shelter children there is a big chance that they will be more rebellious in their teenage years. I don't have any clue how true this is, but I would still take it into consideration. Again, not trying to judge your decisions. Any-who, have a good rest of your day random person.

36 6
Laurenlou 24

#35 No, I do not plan to shelter my children at all. In fact, they will know about sex long before they hear about it from others. Monitoring a child's internet browsing is always a good idea. Who would want their children to be traumatized by ****? Home schooled children-- if the parents do it correctly-- are often more mature than others. This is because the children would interact with all age groups daily and wouldn't be taught by their peers. Also, home schoolers don't stay in their houses all day. Life experience isn't just in the home or in the class room! There will probably be times when I'd be out in public with my children and they hear bad words or see something inappropriate. It would be a teaching moment. I wouldn't be able to make it a teaching moment if they were to go to a school. I will be a very open parent. I won't lie to my children about anything. If they ask a question, they will get an age appropriate answer. By the way, thank you for being so respectful about the question. You don't find that on the internet often.

22 17
Arwen_Evenstar 37

And you're on here learning about felching. Great advertisement.

10 2
gemstone586 12

I was homeschooled. sheltering your kid just makes the inevitable transition from "sheltered" to "not" extremely painful....

16 2
ChibiChibi_fml 27

@Laurenlou "There will probably be times when I'd be out in public with my children and they hear bad words or see something inappropriate. It would be a teaching moment. I wouldn't be able to make it a teaching moment if they were to go to a school. " I disagree. If you would consider it a teaching moment if you were homeschooling your kids, you should still consider it a teaching moment if they attend a regular school. As a parent it will always be a part of your responsibility to educate your children about different parts of life. It doesn't matter if it's education regarding the uses of certain inappropriate words or educating them on why the water in the ocean is a deep gorgeous blue. It would take a really bad parent to decide "eh, the school will explain it to them eventually if it hasn't already, or they'll learn from an older kid so I don't have to deal with this." In life you will always be your children's main teacher and you should always act as such.

3 2