Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophically bad report card. When I asked him for an explanation, he replied, "I'm hesitating between 'family environment' and 'heredity'." FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
panda1o 0
hes gonna go far.
Mipz 2
You've proven yourself dumber than him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
sunflower226 0
that's stupid. how did this even get posted?
nevergo 10
Because it's so original and so stupid that you can't help but just to facepalm it, and while in the process of facepalming too many people accidently hit the yes button
ColdplaySucks 18
It's similar to the idiots thinking that being Gay is determined at birth. But hey, let retards think what they want to.
dyble95 0
9 well actually you find out if you are gay when you hit puberty. So you could say that your body already knows by the time you are born. Not really a stupid theory actually. I'm not sure what makes you so sure that it is wrong. Do you have any experience in the matter?
panda1o 0
hes gonna go far.
ColdplaySucks 18
This reminds me of how people think that being Gay is determined at birth, but let idiots think what they want to.
genesisnirvana 11
Future Einstein
fanceh 10
wait... does this mean my knowledge isn't passed down either???
AaronTkr 0
it was 'technically' past down to him from his parents. just, not genetically.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
What.. How do you get into your teenage years without realizing that's not the case? Has he never seen a baby learning to speak?
violetdabomb 0
You don't need me to tell you that he's a dumbass...
Dashelle 25
mmhmm.
mycookiezz 0
he's a prodigy, lol
Benji114 0
Special parents are a gift from God that says, "good luck surviving till college".
Calivale 7
ain't he a philosopher.
patebishop 7
haha. why would he think that lol?
J1hill33 12
Well people born with Spanish parents generally speak Spanish. Same with other languages. I used to think that when I was little too.
a_nutritionist 10
if by little you also mean teenager then im sorry, youre not very bright. its one thing for a child to think something without any worldly experience or extensive knowledge, its another for a teenager to maintain those same theories.
J1hill33 12
Oops. I meant when I was little like a small kid. Maybe 4 or 5. I misread and didn't see that it was a teenager. My bad
a_nutritionist 10
i was hoping that was the case :P
RyanMacVey 17
awww damn... so i cant blame my dad for everything bad in my life ): well this sucks
HailSatan66 5
Hahah gayboy be hilarousssz I luv ths comententsents u rok!!!! hahaharolf...Kip it up yur kilining mi...ha : )
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Help us Sirin
Ilikeurfmls 13
I moderated this one!!!! :D
Ilikeurfmls 13
I also find it creepy that, that
dstivers 0
Are you serious? It isn't genetic? That explains a lot.
WCARlover 34
Oh wow...how old is he? That's a new brand of stupid