Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML
Today, I came across one of the pitfalls of having open discussions with my 15-year-old son when he asked me how to shave his pubes. FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
For those who have just had lunch, are having lunch, or are about to have lunch do yourself a favor and don't look up "felching."
Ainarr 29
I don't even know what felching is. Public school these days. ):
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
GunSlinger69 19
Gross.
SkylineFTW97 25
Today, I just found out what felching is. FML
pharm121 21
What "factual errors" did you make? I mean.. Man= penis. Woman = ******.
VivaB 9
That's just.. ******* gross... X.x
Matteo_xxi 14
I'm 18 and I have no idea what that means.., :| Google time!
blackonblight 33
Try urbandictionary, safer since google may show images.
ariastyles12 25
I just puked in my mouth a bit
Scotty1973 10
O my word. Delightful in so many ways. Shoot me.
youngindian 10
Well at least you know what he capable of
HighasaCloud 46
I never knew it had a specific name. All this time, I've just called it "creampie eating"
mimii00 10
I'm only 22 and I don't even know what felching is. #momproblems