Miscellaneous: Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 17:17 - United States - Cuyahoga Falls

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 460

You deserved it 7 228

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Same thing different taste

By The Cat Tickler - 13/09/2018 15:00

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 1 410

By leosmom - 25/11/2018 03:00

Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 970

You deserved it 1 267

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 300

You deserved it 7 209

By pinkblankets - 19/04/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 089

You deserved it 29 884

The pits

By BFF4L - 12/02/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 349

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 896

You deserved it 13 695

Broke boy

By LemonTree - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Hungary

Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 379

You deserved it 7 175

Whiffy

By Uber Chad - 25/03/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 365

By g'day cunt - 26/08/2012 18:27 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 643

You deserved it 28 879

By Anonymos_fmler - 21/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 916

You deserved it 5 293

Next

Top comments

swaglesshipster 23

Monday 19 January 2015 23:04

Band kid problems

darryaz 9

Monday 19 January 2015 22:56

At least your clarinet smells like cherries.

Comments

thatbigboy1016 8

Monday 19 January 2015 22:54

That sucks

quickit 24

Monday 19 January 2015 22:57

So does your comment.

Grey_Tempest 16

Tuesday 20 January 2015 2:06

Nice reply! :3

tinyrosie 21

Tuesday 20 January 2015 3:59

there's a thumbs up button for that too :)

Killswitchknot 20

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:14

Should've said that it blows, because of the clarinet

jillrq 12

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:15

Shouldn't "That blows" be a more appropriate response?

incoherentrmblr 21

Tuesday 20 January 2015 5:41

Wah, Wah, Wah, Wawawawaaahhhh...

UWOT 23

Monday 19 January 2015 22:54

been there done that, fyl seriously, ik how much it sucks

Dramori 29

Tuesday 20 January 2015 12:06

Vandoren have an awesome Apple blossom cork grease, use that instead of one that smells like a gym floor?!

blackonblight 32

Wednesday 21 January 2015 8:01

I've used chapstick as cork grease back in middle school band days, but never vice versa. I had an unflavored one in the clarinet case so I didn't get cherry reeds, and it was easy to grab the wrong one, but I would think you'd notice cork grease smell before it hit your lips...

Um_bye 21

Friday 19 June 2015 19:20

Same here. I did it when I still played the clarinet

EnderBash 15

Monday 19 January 2015 22:55

Cool

darryaz 9

Monday 19 January 2015 22:56

At least your clarinet smells like cherries.

Daevas 18

Monday 19 January 2015 22:56

Just use your instrument, that could fix the problem.

AverageJoey 18

Monday 19 January 2015 22:57

Well I guess at least your clarinet smells good?

appletreee 30

Monday 19 January 2015 22:59

Sorry to hear that but cherries do smell good :)

swaglesshipster 23

Monday 19 January 2015 23:04

Band kid problems

lkreykes 14

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:14

the struggle is real

kpetrovski 24

Tuesday 20 January 2015 6:35

HAHAHA, yup.

Regimental_Phan 18

Thursday 22 January 2015 8:10

DRUMLINE DOESNT HAVE THAT PROBLEM!!! GO SNARES!!

PenguinBitch 43

Monday 19 January 2015 23:04

At least it wasn't used to unclog a toilet.

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 19 January 2015 23:18

Really makes ya think.

Mauskau 35

Tuesday 20 January 2015 2:18

Chapsticks are tiny, why would anyone try and unclog a toilet with it?

tantanpanda 26

Tuesday 20 January 2015 2:41

#41, spongebob reference.

Ilikepie82479 20

Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:37

THE PASH PINGING THE FASH RINGING THE GASH SINGING THE TRASH CRINGING THE MASH TINGING

Futacy 29

Thursday 22 January 2015 22:51

Patrick Star: "SQUIDWARD, I USED YOUR CLARINET TO UNCLOG MY TOILET!"

wvcheesehead 13

Monday 19 January 2015 23:10

It could have been Ben Gay confused with hemmorhoid cream. That is a lose lose situation.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 14 749

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You deserved it 315

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 31 804

You deserved it 15 031

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I agree, your life sucks 23 856

You deserved it 1 696

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I agree, your life sucks 41 012

You deserved it 3 981

Today, I had to explain to a lady at Walmart that my mom, who is rather big-boned, actually suffers from fibromyalgia and arthritis, which is why she has to use motor carts. She didn't believe us, and called my mom "selfish". This is a common occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 218

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was, "God forbid a maxed-out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 715

You deserved it 21 069

Today, I found out my baby daddy, who left me when I was 4 months pregnant, has an Onlyfans and makes good money. My twins are 10 months-old and he has never paid a cent for child support. I’d take him to court but I can barely pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 329