Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML
Today, I came across one of the pitfalls of having open discussions with my 15-year-old son when he asked me how to shave his pubes. FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
For those who have just had lunch, are having lunch, or are about to have lunch do yourself a favor and don't look up "felching."
Ainarr 29
I don't even know what felching is. Public school these days. ):
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Comments (79)
SkitchOK 5
Why oh why did I Google that??
Epickitty58 29
My thoughts exactly
Epickitty58 29
What's really sad is that there's a Wikipedia page on felching
davie94 18
Give it a go guys, you don't know what your missing out on ;-)
toxicLover28 19
Looks like he knows more than you. Guess the parental talks are over.
missbrit818 20
I spent way too much time reading these comments. Wish I didn't read these. Blehhhh. Btw sorry Op
JosephWayne 2
because your an idiot
lunastar28 4
That's just sick
kirbs19 37
Ugh we need to start putting warnings on these comments!!!!!
iwanttogotoparis 26
These comments oh my god, I haven't even looked it up and I need to pressure wash my brain
blackonblight 33
Ah, the word Neil Gaiman got past the DC censors when writing for John Constantine. And to be fair, Conjob probably has experience with it, if early canon holds.