Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML
Today, my neighbor got a ridiculous surround sound system that sounds like Jurassic fucking Park come to life. My walls are literally shaking. I tried asking nicely for them to turn it down. They told me to fuck off, and that if I call the cops with a noise complaint, well… they know where I live. FML
Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML
Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML
Today, my wife is a tennis fan and is watching Wimbledon. I hate tennis, but she gets in a mood if I suggest we watch anything else. FML
Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML
Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
Was that the plot of the porno?
jojimugo 20
With how much they scream and grunt ..it's the same shit
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Comments (74)
Redoxx_fml 22
Was that the plot of the porno?
brettrb 18
Actually, watching women's tennis and watching **** have very similar effects. Like the crushing guilt and sadness that hits you when you realize you just wasted 45 minutes by yourself watching because you have no one to... Play tennis with. *muffled sob*
wastedpenguin 14
Tennis Porno? I dont know how i feel about that..
Redoxx_fml 22
Let's just say there's more than one kind of love in a tennis porno
Godsofdracos 15
It's kind of the same... Don't forget to play with the balls!! Works for both.
incoherentrmblr 21
Athletic **** at its finest...
beaglegal 42
Ask him if he wants to join you ;). He might not mind so much if you do.
Redoxx_fml 22
Pretty sure him threatening the cops means he doesn't want to join in
ruckfules85 34
I don't think a guy would be so petty to ask him to turn down a porno.
mld4657 28
oh yeah baby give that ball, right over that net...
Redoxx_fml 22
Oh yeah backhand my balls. Harder harder!
zandalee 19
Give to me one more time...
Axipiter 24
30... Just stop. Please.
brand125 17
41 - it okay, just let it happen ;)
mld4657 28
oh it happened, the game ended early sadly.. ;)
someindiandude 6
Must be Sharapova match.
boating_guy 33
My thoughts exactly... That Sharapova shriek.
gotaplanstan 28
or azarenka... or serena... or kuznetsova... or plenty of others XD
jojimugo 20
With how much they scream and grunt ..it's the same shit
Redoxx_fml 22
Love-love
euphoricness 28
Plus they are hitting some balls, it really is the same.
lemontreee 11
I didn't realize I could make some of those noises until I started playing tennis myself
Redoxx_fml 22
I misread your comment as "started playing with myself"
viva_la_blondes 15
#11, that too
chuka81 27
Women's tennis, is that what we're calling it now?
crc71 1
Turn down for what???
pjsr 32
Tell your neighbor you prefer watching two women, but are open minded. If he/she wants you to, you'd be willing to watch two men or even foursomes.
schadenfreud 6
explain to the cops that the noise was a result of regular back and forth forehand strokes making contact with balls until a big shot went out. im certain they'll understand
zandalee 19
Brilliant